roomate postings

So I'm starting to browse roomate postings in Seattle again. Not because I really want to get into that situation (unless I can find someone just as anal about cleanliness as me and cool with my friends and bf visiting), but because the ads are so damn funny. The "we want a CHRISTian roomate" postings have lost their novelty but there are still many that crack me up. Some tidbits from one I just read and flagged for best of. That last bullet is very true of one person I know who was always insisting on QT (quality time) with her roomate which was totally not in the rent agreement!
- You have to not do drugs. Yes, this includes pot, just because it's easier to say "No Drugs Of Any Kind" than to say "Mayyyybe" and get a bunch of potheads explaining to me how they're "totally functional" and by the way can they pay in bud?
- You have to not be a LOUD drunk with LOUD drunk friends. You're welcome to come in a 2am blacked out and end up sleeping in the shower because you "can't find" your bedroom, as long as you don't do it loudly.
- You have to be relatively clean. I don't mean you need to walk around with Kleenex boxes on your feet, but don't leave your dishes in the sink the entire week, rinse your pubes out of the bathtub when you're done showering, etc. Your room can be a total sty (we'll just spray Frebreeze under the door or something)
- You have to be somewhat friendly....Yet please don't be annoyingly needy and like bang on closed bedroom doors because you're lonely.

Jon: Modeled his personality during his formative years off David Spade and Chandler from "Friends." Works as a publisher downtown. Kinda metro but no-doubt likes the ladies. Can fix your computer, give deep-tissue massage, cook you dinner, recommend a good book, and beat up that drunk guy that followed you home.
Logan: Laid back homo. Thrives off of laptop, iPod, anime. Dead pan sarcasm. Likes beer and burgers. Frequents coffee shops to get work done. Enjoys the occasional bar; gay or straight. Gets along best with girls but can blend in with the boys. Insane crush on hugh jackman.


jon said...

HA what a great ad!!! Oh wait - I wrote it. :) Well done, me!

Eunice said...

There is just no PC way for some of these people to just say, "dude, I have issues," and have any luck finding a roomie.

I remember when I was searching for roomies a few years ago, I ran across a post that was from a guy "looking for a female roommate. I just got out of a relationship and am hoping to find a girl that can lend an ear, maybe a shoulder to cry on, and is willing to provide me with some sexual healing..." I guess at least he was honest.

JJ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Van said...

I actually think this sounds like a cool household I would consider if there were no cat, no shared bathroom situation, and both guys were gay. I think they were actually trying to weed out the people who do have issues.

Sorry JJ, had to delete your comment. I found it a little homophobic.

Van said...

Oh yeah Eunice, have you heard about people on Craigslist looking for FREE rent in exchange for sex? It was on the news here and law enforcement folks were trying to figure out if that qualifies as prostitution.