I haven't worked an office job in a few years so it's funny to hear about weirdos at work from my friend. I have to share this IM conversation I just had with her:
friend: that stupid ghetto chick that sits behind me is annoying me
friend: this is her phone conversation "yo, she's got the hookup for the hookup, so just call her and tell her i sez to call her because she can hook you up"
me: OMG this person has an office job?
friend: YES, accountant. cannot wait til she leaves
friend: "you better get on your girls over here, ya know"
friend: i have NO clue what she's saying sometimes
me: oh i know what you mean
friend: "i sez to her to get on her girls..you my doggy"
friend: wtf? and did i tell you she sings the Mickey Mouse song to herself?
Sometimes you can't even make this stuff up.
I have to admit when I first moved here, I wasn't accustomed to this nasal lazy-sounding San Jose drawl that some of the teenagers here speak with. And, no, it was not an accent. It came from kids of different races who seemed to speak English as their master language. I'd go up to a fast food counter and have no idea whatsoever what the person was saying and they'd get all pissed off when I had to ask them to repeat themselves.