Borrowed from another blog, but I must post: http://whowouldbuythat.com/

I am too lazy to add a counter or swipe any code to track shit. But I'm curious who reads all this insight/garbage/bitching that I post. I know several people who read but dont post comments which is cool. My blog is public so whatever. I dont divulge secrets here anyways. Anyways, if you're reading this, please leave a comment with your name, real, fake, I dont care. I am just curious how many readers I got and I'm going to find out the old fashioned way -- by asking. The only thing I ask is that you not write horrible nasties or moronic sophomoric shit on my comments. please. thanks.

Just to clarify the last post. No I have not become single. But I have the occasional fantasy about being not just single, but also nomadic, invisible and having no social ties or responsibilities to anyone. You know when sometimes you want to just do stuff by yourself (I'm an only child, I grew to love the solitude)? ...well it's that feeling to the extreme.

It's argued that humans are social beings. Isolation chambers and being deserted alone on an island supposedly drives people insane. What if some people just want to be alone?

In western society, it's expected that people live their lives in pairs. Being single is like being left handed in a right handed world. It's just a disadvantage. It's the bad, the ugly, the other, the "alternative". Amusement park rides are meant to be ridden in pairs, cars come with seats in pairs, watches and towels come in his and her sets and tax breaks and benefits are for married couples. Society expects everyone to just pair up and those who don't live their lives in misery. OK, so maybe it's not a bad thing to be forced into pairing up. At least someone will be around to call 911 when you fall and dislocate your hip but the problem lies in the fact that the alternative, staying alone the rest of your life so you dont have to constantly put up with anyone other than yourself, is just not viable. Not economically. And not when it comes to dealing with the pressures and expectations of our rigid society. Kudos to those who are strong enough to go it alone.

I met someone at school today who shares a sleep condition I didn't know existed. I found out that opening my eyes in the middle of a nightmare about demonic possession or being chased by something malevolent and non-human and realizing that I cannot move or call out is called sleep paralysis. Other people experience it as something sitting on their chest so that they feel weighted down or suffocated. Phew, maybe I'm not crazy or in need of an excorcism. Take the survey if you also experience this. Or just read the info here if you're lucky enough to not be plagued by this terrifying disorder.

92.7 fm was our only all "dance" (i.e. mostly progressive, house and some cheezy techno, unfortunately, thrown into the mix) radio station. It wasn't perfect. The had a pretty limited collection and played stuff repeatedly and some of it was just techno-pop garbage. But it was the only station that was ALL electronic music. Tonight we turned on the radio on the way home from seeing Robot Stories and all of a sudden it was "92.7 The new home of hip hop". What the hell. How many more hip hop stations does the Bay Area really need? KMEL, Wild and now this? I'm sad. Now we just have Thump radio some nights which is awesome but it's not on all the time. I'm way too lazy to burn CDs and open my trunk and change up the CDs in my changer. Back to singing along to 80s hits I guess.

9.5 hours later I have completed one paragraph of my paper. Fuck. I am starting to connect with those commercials for adult ADD. If I could get paid for doing numerous random online tasks like checking email, blogging, reading blogs, seeing what the weather is like next week, searching for cheap airfare to Phuket, Thailand, looking for a used camcorder, reading reviews on DV editing software, checking out the bios of all my profs, posting to forums of all sorts, managing my Outlook rules, etc etc I would be richer than rich.

Big essay to do. I will not blog again til I finish it. Ok that's a lie. Let me at least write about the book I'm reviewing in my essay. It's called Monitored Peril (by Darrell Y. Hamamoto) and it's the best book I've ever read on the topic of Asian Americans on TV. It looks at all the stereotyped roles but more importantly goes into a whole socio-political history of our immigration patterns and world events and how they shaped the way European Americans see us. Excellent excellent book.

Go see Robot Stories. I met the writer/director Greg Pak and he's a darn swell guy. I also saw a little clip and it looks like a fun film. Oh and Tamlyn Tomita from Joy Luck Club is in it!

"Robot Stories"
Everything is changing... Except the human heart.
Winner of 33 awards. For screening times and locations, visit http://www.robotstories.net

So I must brag about the latest article about Simon's company because it's the first I've seen to fully and clearly articulate what his company does. I use the Telenav service whenever he lends me his Nextel phone and I would never go to the east bay without it :-). I use Telenav Track to get online and see where the hell Simon is when he's late. Hopefully the other carriers get on board within a year as is predicted in the article.

I have 9 am classes on Mondays and Tuesdays which means getting up at 7am to leave enough time to eat, commute, park, walk 5 blocks and get a good seat because I'm a supreme nerd. Problem is I have been getting this weekly case of insomnia since daylight savings, just on Sunday and Monday nights. Any other time I can pretty much fall asleep standing up. What the hell is going on here? I am now sympathic to all insomniacs around the world. I feel for you guys, man.

Unlike many girls, I have not been fantasizing about my wedding day since I was five years old. I do not know what my dress will look like or what music will be playing during our "first dance". And, unlike this one crazy roomate I had, I have not been subscribing to wedding magazines since the age of 20. In fact, I've only been to two weddings and couldn't even explain to you the role of each person in the wedding party. It was only after talking to G this weekend that I even realized how freakin much these productions cost. You're looking at upwards of a grand to rent the place for the ceremony and at least $500 per table for the reception, and that's the cost at a Chinese restaurant (not a fancy hotel or anything). Add a dress that costs at least another grand and misc stuff like cake, flowers, decorations, DJ, invitations, party favours, wine etc etc (not to mention the rings) and you're out AT LEAST $25K when it's all said and done. Even small budget weddings are at least $17K. Then you gotta do the traditional honeymoon routine. Good lord, in Canada, that would pay for a good chunk of your mortgage. It's unfortunate that it's become tradition to make such a big deal out of getting your name signed on a couple pieces of papers so you can share benefits and not be living in sin and shit. I just don't see the fun in all this. I don't get it at all. Maybe I'm lucky I spent more of my childhood climbing trees than playing with Barbie dolls.

Anyways, within the last 4 months I can count 6 couples, good friends of mine, who either just got engaged or are planning to really soon. This almost-30 age range sure sucks ass.

Found an interesting site that relates directly to a speech I once delivered on the topic of outsourcing and economically justified racism. I cannot believe some of the shit that technical publications are getting away with these days. Fucking witch hunt.

We had a guest speaker, Arnie something or other, from the American Association of Advertising Agencies in our ethics class today and throughout his entire 3 hour talk, I had to bite my lip to prevent from going on an all out tirade about what a chauvenistic, racially ignorant pig he is. What angered me more was that, judging from the enthusiastic applause at the end, the rest of my class did not seem the least bit offended.

Offense #1, he was telling a story about being in an elevator and seeing a "little cleaning lady", just "a little bubushka". While "bubushka" refers to an older Russian woman, using the term "little lady" is absolutely unacceptable. Infantilizing women through biased language like this serves to keep women subordinated in our society. We don't really need any help in that department.

Offense #2, he was talking about how one client from Cincinatti was hesitant to sponsor Queer Eye for the Straight Guy since it depicts "an alternative lifestyle and all". "Alternative" suggests abnormality, choosing to be different or deliberately categorizing oneself as a social oddity and I cannot think of one gay person who would call themselves "alternative" based solely on their sexual orientation. One's sexual orientation is what it is and should never be labeled "alternative".

Offense #3, he distributed a handout about how agencies are facing scrutiny by the City Commission on Human Rights in NYC because their hiring of minorities is lagging behind other industries. He had the NERVE to talk about all the programs they have to recruit minorities but they just "weren't getting enough". Dismissing the issue as a problem with lack of minority applicants completely ignores the well-documented fact that there is a glass ceiling for minorities. There are few ethnic minorities in big agencies and on their boards of directors, but "not enough applicants" is NOT the reason why. Racial prejudice in the corporate world is not something you can just sweep under the rug like that Arnie!

Offense #4, he talked about how tough it is to break into the advertising industry. How tough it was for him at the time because there was a big push to hire women and minorities which made it hard for him as A WHITE MAN. At this point I was about to explode. To even begin to suggest that affirmative action programs were detrimental to his career because he was a white male turns my stomach. We are not sitting on a level playing field here. We did not CHEAT you out of any opportunities. They were all yours to begin with and still are. He claims he lived the immigrant experience too, having come from Lithuania. But you cannot claim that the experience of a white versus non-white immigrant is the same, or even remotely similar. To suggest such a thing is to spit in the face of all the ethnic minorities who immigrated here, who suffered painful overt racism at the hands of Anglo-Americans (immigrant or not) who judged us based on race and skin color alone.

Ok this site in response to Whitney McNally's article in Details Magazine rocks. Ah the power of the Internet in social activism and campaigning is a beautiful thing. http://www.whitneymcnally.com

I am working on producing a radio show for a graduate seminar on media ethics. 20 minutes long. That's a damn long time. I've picked an interesting topic - stereotyping and racist (or at the very least, biased) language in sports broadcasting and journalism in the coverage of Asian American athletes. I figure there's plenty to talk about and it's not a topic that has been discussed to death. Damn, if I were thinking a little harder I would've chosen to talk about this William Hung mania. Oh well. Anyways, as I finished up my literature review and began to actually think about the format of my radio show (yes it's really going on the air, well campus air and streamed online), I came to realize that I don't listen to news radio. If I don't hear music, hockey commentators or traffic reports on the radio, I switch stations. There's two things I can't stand, hearing stupid people talk and listening to people argue and talk over each other. Until now, I didn't know that carefully produced radio shows with sound bites, readings, interviews and the like exist. NPR.org is where I've been going to listen to them and it's kind of like hearing an essay but with clips of interviews and opinions and, yes, intelligent people speaking, not a bunch of buffoons trampling all over each other. So yah, my final project involves putting one of these things together. Any advice or help? So far I'm trying to interview a journalist and maybe get some opinions of Asian American athletes, Asian Studies profs etc. Am I the only one who never listens to news radio?

OK just had a chat session with herman and i now feel compelled to record a list of our favorite soul/ghetto foods. So here they are: Spam (Herman's), canned corned beef with onions, corn nibs, and sometimes chillies(Herman's), cream of mushroom soup mixed with a can of baby clams with onions and herbs with pasta (herman's), macaroni and cheese, egg overeasy mashed into rice, corned beef with butter sandwich, cream of mushroom with pieces of chicken, can of creamed corned mixed with pieces of chicken. mmmmmmmmmm yummy. So what's your soul food?

R.I.P. Necknotch. April 19, 2002 - sometime between April 3-5, 2004. My second favourite hamster after her mommy, Curious. She developed some sort of internal tumour or something that made her tummy swell. Then sometime over the weekend she crawled into her little house, went to sleep and didn't wake up. It's rather convenient to have a pet that only lives 2 years max but it kinda sucks at the same time. I think it's time to make a new batch of baby hamsters. We got 3 horny boy hammies at home and one freakish one with skin problems and overgrown nails that I expect won't last too much longer.

California is so fucked up and funds so little to the CSU school system that I have to buy my own scantron sheets and essay booklets for my exams. Furthermore, the profs have such a small budget they are asked to post handouts online because the 5 cents per sheet to photocopy is way too much to handle. And this is before Arnold came into office. He has marched in and slashed some more. Now we have no equal opportunity and affirmative action department either cuz they all got canned/reassigned. What a freakin mess. There are some things I really hate about the US. Lack of healthcare and education funding are two of them. Lying, selfish, stupid politicians is a third one.

I hate Spring-forward daylight savings. SUCKS!

Friday night we all headed out to Butter for another night of good beats, no dress code, and cheap malt liquor. My favourites. We had decided to try to turn it into somewhat of a bar hop but Wish was packed, Loft 11 too expensive and Holy Cow and Paradise Lounge were spinning hip hop. Caliente is, well, not really our crowd. After that short tour we decided to go back to our comfy old standby, Butter.

As we were walking back to Butter, we passed by Studio Z.tv marked by a small sign and tiny doorway. I heard some good music coming from that little doorway and asked what cover was. $15. We were standing there thinking about it for a bit when a guy came up to us. "hey," he says, "if you guys wanna go in, tell them you know Pekin, you're a long time member of Cloud Factory, and Ernie's spinning right now". We're thinking, this guy's setting us up so he can get a good laugh. "What do you have to lose?" he says. Everyone but Simon and I go in and give them that line, which, after several malt liquors took them a really long time to remember.

Ray, James, Cecil, Shannph all come out... "nope, didn't work". Oh well. They headed back to Butter but Simon and I stayed back to chat with this Pekin character. Eventually he takes us two in with him and it was a small but happenin' party radiating good vibes galore. These Cloud Factory folks, he explained to us, were the ones involved with "Groove" the movie about the old SF rave scene. There was a guy painting on a big canvas next to the DJ and everyone there looked like ex-ravers/burning man types in their late 20s to 30s. In the chill out room, everyone was crashed on a couch all glassy eyed staring at a collection of mirrors hung against the wall swaying about. It was weird to be in a rave environment with people my own age while not "in the groove" myself.

Anyways, I just read a little more about this Cloud Factory Collective. Pretty interesting. Their site says "We are spreading a message of tolerance and diversity in a society that promotes intolerance and conformity, we create community in a society that promotes individuality, we further connection in a society that seeks alienation." What a refreshing philosophy. Not exactly the stuff you read on the web sites of other groups that throw events.

This was the party description.

Wow my cousin Lonny was profiled in the San Jose Mercury today. So awesome! Lonny you rock!

There's so much going on with the Banzai and Details campaigns that I can't keep up with homework or studying. At least my field of study is highly related but still... If our lives didn't revolve around money, jobs to make money, higher education to get the money making jobs, i think i would make a "livelihood" of being a filmmaker/political activist/advocate for various minority and interest groups. I think even if I hadn't been laid off, I would've given in eventually and realized that making money for some freaking software company was just not a good use of the short time I have on this earth particularly when I have the energy and passion for things that are so much more important. It's getting to the point that I'm irked and infuriated by people with a "who cares" attitude when there are so many injustices in this world, so many wrongs that need to be made right. We live in a fucking democratic society, I wish more people would take advantage of their right to speak out and make their voices heard, whether for themselves or on behalf of the voiceless. Not being at least somewhat socially conscious is just plain selfish.

I think I'm going to be a winner of a contest! Yay for me!