countdown

I am battling an almost-cold, mostly nose blowing and phlegminess that I'm sure I'll get over soon. The bride has an upper respiratory infection. One of the groomsman is just getting over an illness from last week. But we're all going to suck it up because it's stag weekend. (to the Americans, stag = bachelor party, stagette = bachelorette party). Boys are heading to Vegas to see DJ Tiesto and the girls are headed to LA to see John Digweed. I've hooked up a preparty at Circus with seating, champagne and free entry and a line pass for the main event, the Digweed party at Avalon. Sunday is supposed to be a beach day but I have a feeling it's going to be a write off. In fact I'll probably need to be carried off the plane on the way back to SF.

I just talked to one of the groomsman and my only request was that they not get arrested or hospitalized. Luckily my older cousin is not attending so that reduces the chances of getting arrested.

OK time to finish my writing so I can get packed up.

sicko

Sicko the movie was great. Go see it. But I'm actually refering to me. I'm sick. I never get sick which is why I'm so pissed that I'm sick. I was slurping down that awful oil of oregano like crazy and still I ended up sick.

"and the such as"

If you haven't seen the video of Miss Teen South Carolina, you must see this version with subtitles.

Here's one child who was definitely left behind. (That's my cousin's joke, not mine)

joke

So apparently there was a joke told late Saturday night that we all remember laughing at. But none of us were sober enough to remember what the joke was. Actually, I'll be honest, I don't even remember laughing at any jokes. I only remember eating a double double cheeseburger and it was fucking delicious.

After 72 hours of incubation, my briliant cousin has finally recalled the joke. It goes like this:

Q: Why do Canadians like to do it doggy style?

A: So they can both watch Hockey Night in Canada at the same time

Step It Up 2007

This year's event takes place November 3rd. Please go to http://www.stepitup2007.org/ to get on the distribution list and help fight global warming.

weekend

The weekend was eventful. I'm not even going to try to recap all the weird shit that happened to us during out ridiculous girls' night out on Friday but here is a taste. This conversation took place between us and two guys in line in front of us at VBar. C is my friend who did most of the talking in this situation. I was too busy turning around to yell at this asshole who happened to end up in line behind us with the chump ex-gf who still hangs out with him after he cheated on her a million times. Okay, so back to the drama in front of us in line:

Jackass: Oh perfect, four girls! Hey can you guys lend us $11 so the bouncer can let us pass the line? We don't have enough cash for the $20 to grease the bouncer, but we'll buy you drinks on a credit card when we get inside

C: What about us? How will we get in?

Jackass: You're chicks they'll let you in

C: We already asked, they wont. Plus what kinda job do you have that you wouldn't have any cash when you go to a bar?

[Jackass and his Asian friend produce business cards. Jackass is a manager at Bank of America, Asian friend is an attorney]

Me: you work at a fucking bank and you need to borrow $11 from us? Are you serious? Is this even your business card or did you take it from the bank?

[C looks at the business card]

C: You work across the street from me

Jackass: Oh do you work at Marina (a Chinese grocery store)

C: [steps up to Jackass and gets in his face] WTF??? Just because I'm an Asian woman you think I work at Marina? I work at _______ (software security company)

Highlight of Saturday night aside from seeing all my wonderful friends was eating a double double cheeseburger from Jack in the Box which I'm convinced is still in my stomach.

Oh and I saw Death at a Funeral last night. Great movie but don't read the description or watch the trailer before you see it. It took away from the plot and the laughs. Just go see it. It's great

comments

Shit the notifications that I have blog comments have been going to my spam folder. I just discovered a pile of them. Sorry guys. And here I thought no one ever reads this. They are all published now

gym

Went to Club One with my cousin last night. The place is immaculate and well kept. It makes 24 Hour Fitness look like a fucking bathroom in a dive bar in the Tenderloin. I noticed far less meat marketish activity on the gym floor but still the place is not without its characters. At one point I found myself walking to a piece of equipment at approximately the same rate as another guy. As we both approached the equipment I looked up at him and said "oh were you about to use this?"

The appropriate response for a normal person would be something like "oh you go ahead first."

But this guy just grunts "YEAH" and jumps ahead of me to use the equipment. I bit my lip to keep from blurting out "were you fucking homeschooled or some shit?"

After the workout, we were walking back home and my cousin says that some guy in the locker room was blowdrying his pubes in there and not even discretely. Awesome.

alive

Yes I am still alive. I have not written because I have been blessed with more drama. Ah the life I lead. A couple weeks ago while Simon was at work, many issues -- not the least of which includes dishonesty, zero communication skills, and face-saving tactics that essentially trivialized our entire relationship -- prompted me to pack up my shit and move out. And did he call me to see why I packed up and moved out or to check that I was alive? No, he calls a friend to get the scoop and develop his latest PR strategy to make sure he exits this situation looking like this was his decision and what he wanted all along. What do I learn from this? Don't trust people who are so self-conscious that they can't open up and be themselves even around people who love them. Ego-saving will ultimately be prioritized over your well being.

Not to state the obvious, but we are not on speaking terms. Even after 6 years. What a shame.

Don't worry I am okay. In fact, I'm relieved and, for once in my life, somewhat optimistic. And so begins a new chapter in my life. Please line up the eligible single Asian American men (educated and over 5'6" please) at my front door...naked.

eyesore

Having a messy house when no one is there to see it is one thing. Everyone has their tolerance for mess and dirtiness. Mine happens to be extremely low because seeing dirt, dust, or hair on floors and surfaces is actually nauseating for me and I get all sorts of anxiety about it and have a hard time staying at other people's houses overnight because of it. Okay enough about me.

Now having a big huge fucking mess for all your neighbours to look at every fucking day is certainly another thing. Please click on the photo to see it in full size so you can truly appreciate the detail:

So our HOA states that we are not allowed to have anything but plants, BBQ, and patio furniture on our patios. These losers have decided to use their patio as some sort of fucking storage. Let's play I spy with my little eye. I spy astroturf, a trampoline, an ironing board with an assortment of ugly ceramic fucking swans, bunches of fake flowers, a broken screen from a window, two satellite dishes, a kid's swimming pool, two exercise balls, a tricycle, a rug hanging over the rail, plastic shelving with more junk on it, a pretend lawnmower, cinder blocks, a hose, a broom and two ceramic elephants.


But hey at least they finally moved their couch back inside. I think I'm going to be an asshole and call the HOA to complain.

AsiaSF

So AsiaSF used to be a place we enjoyed taking out of town guests. They had these fabulous drag shows with the girls doing elaborate lipsynch and dance routines on the bartop. The gender illusionists as the web site calls them are also your waitresses. So the person who booked the dinner chose a set menu so fine whatever. The waitress, who used to come and hang out, chat, take pictures etc., I think made one visit to our table with the drinks. Thereafter, the busboy brought our food out. They somehow managed to pack the restaurant with more tables than usual so it was hard to squeeze through the seating areas. And with all the people crammed in there, the place got super hot and stuffy.

As for the service, everything seemed to come at once so there was no room on the table for all the plates. Then the dessert started coming but our salmon hadn't arrived yet. We flagged down the guy bringing the food and let him know. Soon after, another busboy brought more dessert and then the check...still no salmon. Finally, long after the dessert had come out and the check was on the table, the salmon arrived. What the hell are we supposed to do with that now??

To top that, they had forgotten our chocolate volcano cake. So I flag down a dude in a suit who looks like he might be in charge. He offers to take one of the salmon dishes off the bill and bring a round of shots. He also goes looking for our chocolate volcano cake. After what seemed like forever, another busboy comes along with our cake and our shots. The volcano cake, which used to be my favourite of all time, was so overcooked there was no lava spilling out of the cake. Instead it was rock solid all the way through. And the bill for someone who didn't drink? $78 including tax and mandatory 20% tip. This place used to be fun and the food delicious. Now it's hurried, disorganized, over crowded, and generally not a good time. Just too bad. We won't be going back. I wish I could get my 80 bucks back to buy a pair of shoes. Damn them

giving tree

Simon and I are going to be buying a new backback full of supplies for two low income children in the Bay Area. If you want to help too, go to http://www.familygivingtree.org/b2s/Sponsorship.htm
There is a link there if you want to buy the backpack from the online store for the kids and a from to print out a tax receipt. Don't worry I checked it out and they are legit. They get lists of needy children from various schools and agencies. These are kids who are on free/reduced lunch programs and really need help. Just look at these pics and thank yous from them.

pub

English pub food is something I really love to eat, especially sheperd's pie and fish and chips. There was a place called the Prince of Wales pub in San Mateo near my place. It was dark and dingy like a basement from the 60s. They hadn't changed the dirty pukey orange brown carpet or velvet red wall paper in decades. There were photos of people from the 70s who got their Polaroid on the wall for finishing a habanero burger. They had fantastic food -- fish and chips, deep fried pickles, and kobe burgers. Recently it changed hands. Now it is called the Swingin Door Pub. There are hardwood floors where the worn faded carpet used to be, all the photos of people from decades past and dirty framed newspaper clippings have been taken off the wall. The kobe burger is off the menu, ditto the deep fried pickles. Still an English pub with pub food but no more kobe burger, no more deep fried pickles, and a price hike. And the food really does not taste the same. No flavour. I took my out of town friends there today hoping to show them my favourite little hole in the wall but had to apologize for bringing them to a place with horribly bland soggy food. Too bad. I'm sure this breaks the previous owner's heart.

angry

We were carpooling to Mountain View for lunch last week when conversation about who might become the next president came up. Our consultant immediately noted what a bitch Hilary is and how, at the same time, it was pathetic that she took her husband back after the Lewinsky scandal. I had to defend her. I'm sure she had some idea at the time that she might want to run for president in the future. I'm sure she must've come to the realization that being a woman is already hard enough in politics. I'm damn sure that no one would elect a single mom. So her decision to stay with Bill was strategic if nothing else. As for being a bitch. If a man displayed qualities like being tough and stubborn and demanding, he'd be called a strong charasmatic leader. When a woman displays those qualities she is labeled a bitch.

Related to this is a new finding that anger at work earns admiration for men but for women, anger is seen as a sign of incompetence and being "out of control." None of this is surprising to me. I'm generally angry. I'm angry about this, I'm angry about issues of race, I'm angry at the media, I'm angry that I spent years of my life working in the tech industry where testosterone fuels the workplace. What have I gotten for it? Well people attempting to flatter me have called me "feisty" or, worse, "spunky." I consider that demeaning, paternalistic, and sexist. Would you call a man feisty or spunky because they are authoritative or passionate about something? That would sound silly wouldn't it? Being feisty or spunky is cute like a puppy gnawing on your finger. Next person who calls me feisty or spunky gets a fist shoved down their fucking throat. To be honest, I'd rather you call me an asshole.

no fun city

Vancouver is apparently the best city in Canada to live in but placed dead LAST for nightlife.

With the "fake" lines created outside clubs when there is no one inside, unjustified cover charges, tiny boring unrenovated venues (and very few of them), asshole bouncers everywhere, mandatory measured liquor pours (ie weak overpriced drinks), and absence of celebrity DJs willing to include Vancouver in their tours, I am not for a moment surprised by this finding.

As for safety, I know more Vancouverites who have had their cars broken into/stolen than not.

Vancouver has been voted the best city in Canada.
Aug, 01 2007 - 9:10 AM
VANCOUVER/CKNW980 - That according to a survey out this morning.
Though it's probably not a surprise to most Vancouverites, the poll by Angus Reid Strategies finds aside from the overall best city rating, Vancouver is also seen as the country's best city to live in and the best city to vacation in. However the findings are not all rosy with Vancouver finishing much further down the list in categories such as best city to find a job in and best city to do business in. We also finished tied for seventh place as being the safest city and tied for last place in the category of best city for nightlife.