count down

Man I'm kinda getting sick of people asking when I'm moving especially when after I tell them mid September, they comment that that is coming up really soon. It's like getting reminded on a daily basis that I ought to be counting down the days. I'm naturally one to get stressed by change and I was doing remarkably well until everyone decided to ask all these damn questions. Now I'm just generally pissed off. Not at any one person or even group of people. Just general pissed offedness. I almost feel like writing a fucking FAQ for the most annoying ones and printing them on a shirt.

Q. Is Simon moving too?
A. No.

Q. Why not?
A. Uh, he has a job that means more to him than just a pay cheque.

Q. Will you be back in a year or two?
A. No, there is no such thing as a two-year PhD you retard. I'm not doing some bogus online program.

Q. Why didn't you just go to school here instead?
A. You don't pick something like a doctoral program based on proximity to home. It's not like a health club membership.

Q. But won't you miss Simon?
A. Holy shit, can I punch you?


Sandra said...

If you think those questions are annoying just wait until you go on a job search (assuming you are going into academia). When are you going to get a job? How come you haven't heard back from the jobs - it's been 6 months? How come you apply to 100 places but only 1 has called you back? etc. etc. etc.

KT said...

You are so hilarious! I totally know how you feel. Soemtimes you wonder if these people with the questions just really want to see if they can make you cry or something. I especially love the last question. What do they think you are going to say, "No, not at all. I could care less if the man that I've been living with for about 3 years keels over when I'm gone. Have a nice day!" Sometimes i say that crap just to see their reaction!

Ben said...

Wait, when are you moving again? [duck and run]

Yeah, I faced the same damned questions when I was prepping for my move to Asia. What's more, the people asking those questions are genuinely in the belief that they seem to be the only ones who've thought of asking them.

Expand your FAQ, and then print the URL on a shirt or a business card. Whenever you're asked one of those FAQ questions, say nothing and point to the shirt/card. And THEN punch them.

Van said...

you guys crack me up. I know what's worse though. I have a friend from high school who got married several years back with no intention of having kids. Her decision plain and simple, but friends and relatives can't help asking when she'll have kids or why she won't.

Egan said...

I love that you posted these questions. Now I don't have to ask them.