My parents came to visit this weekend. They had to head south to fetch something they bought online from their PO box in Blaine so they continued down the I5 for a visit. Most people have normal conversations with their parents by the time they hit their 30s. Unfortunately, my parents' idea of communication is driving from the back seat (both of them, simultaneously) and offering unsolicited advice and annoying commentary on every. single. fucking. thing. I. do.

Here is an abbreviated list of things on which they commented/questioned:
- my place is too old and the landscaping unkempt
- front door is too squeaky
- why is there no in-suite washer dryer
- everyone has a covered parking spot except me and another tenant
- why do they have to swear in this movie
- organic peanut butter is too oily (it's separated and you need to mix it up, it's just like that)
- stairs to bedroom are too steep
- fridge is too big
- microwave should be tilted at a different angle
- curtain, which is temporarily covering my my storage nook, is too sheer
- not enough meat in the fridge
- bathroom tap is too hard to turn on
- there should be a strainer in the tub to catch hair
- where is the sugar, why do you put honey in tea
- why buy a knife set when I could take their old knives and sharpen them
- why so many cables near the baseboard heating
- knobs in the bathroom are loose
- why are there not more towel racks for guests
- I should mask when I paint walls (I DID MASK)
- I should have cable, it couldn't cost that much
- why are there no facecloths
- bus stop is so far away
- non-slip mat in the tub should be hung up daily to dry
- electrical bill too high for one person
- too many keys on my key chain makes it too heavy and will break my car's ignition

They were relentless and K had to listen to some of that, and also had to deal with me losing my patience and thus he deserves a large trophy.

The only peace I got was when I put on a movie Friday and Saturday nights. That bought me a total of 4.5 hours of them not criticizing me and how I live my life. After they left on Sunday afternoon, I collapsed on the couch and fell asleep for two solid hours.


Robyn said...

omg, i think your parents are crazy--especially cuz they think you SHOULD have cable. i thought parents are supposed to think we are always too indulgent!

Ben said...

Whoa! Even MY parents don't (didn't) do that!

Uh ... I'm sure they're just making comments where they feel you could enjoy a better life. Kind of a twisted approach to hoping you don't get the short end of the stick in life.

Alternatively, now we know your love for b!tching about stuff is hereditary. :-)

Shockr said...

Uhh... maybe this will make you feel better. My parents are both retired. For the last 1.5 years, I live 2 hours away from them vs 12 hours before (by flight).

Last year I offered to fly them up on my expense, but they still never did.

I'm not telling you that you should put up with them, but at least they made the effort to come down. LOL

Fumbling said...

So shockr you're saying I should move to the Yukon? :P

Fumbling said...

omg ben is saying I'm like my parents. crap!

Ben said...

I'm just saying I noticed a similarity, 's all. Please don't beat me up. :-( hahaha ...

Shockr said...

Ooooo! That was was a low blow! Haha