I just realized I'm a terribly unhappy blogger. I should say something positive. I know... Better Luck Tomorrow. Now that was a kick ass film. Way to portray Asians sans the stereotypes -- docile, nerdy, 2 dimensional geeks (who never land the girl) and chicks who like to lay half naked on import cars. Refreshing to see edgy intelligent Asian characters with depth. I wonder where the heck Justin Lin got the budget to do this film, there was not a hint of amateurishness in it.

But wait there's more...the day of the layoff, I went to Scores to chill and watch the Canucks game...and dammit again they lost 6-0 to St. Louis. I think it's time to buy a lotto ticket. I need to shake off this jinx.

God damn it happened. The dreaded "Vanessa, can I see you in my office for a sec?", followed by uncomfortable shuffling of paper and the all in one breath like they taught us in HR training, "you know there's some organization changes going on right now. Some positions are being eliminated and one of them is yours". Since this has happened to me before. I've daydreamed about really dramatic things I can do on the day I get canned... like flip over my desk and scream "then why did I work til 11:30pm last night for you unappreciative *&%$?". But then I realize that my desk is attached to a cubical...and so it'd be real tough to flip over. And if I could, no one would see me anyways. hmmm actually thinking about these Dilbert-like situations kinda cheers me up. hahahaha. Job hunting is kind of exciting at first but after 9.5 months it can realy suck. Hopefully it won't take as long this go round.

First there was war, then SARS and now I'm at risk of being part of the 7% reduction in workforce (AGAIN). Nothing is for certain yet, but the lady processing my green card mysteriously dropped out of the Exchange listings with no warning, no handover of work, no good bye. Ditto for the guy who recruited me. What the hell is next? You know, high tech = large salaries but hard (really hard) work often goes unnoticed, loyalty is nil, and to the company you're just a "headcount". I think I need a job with a little less anonymity, a little more love and work days that end at 5:30pm, not 8:30 plus weekends. Burn out and frustration at age 27 couldn't be healthy. How am I going to last another 30 years? Is academia, perhaps, where I really belong? or is university politics just as bad? Is that possible? Does it matter so much when you get a fat pension and 2 month vacations and a whole slew of students who admire you? Well whatever...still need to pay the bills til I can find time and money to go back for more school anyways. grind grind grind...