Ever since the Canucks got bumped out, I've forgotten to follow the playoffs. Once the Sharks were ousted, there was absolutely no hockey coverage on the news here. Doesn't help that our local/only sports bar here went under (again) recently.

Anyways, I went and checked nhl.com and low and behold, the Flames are one game away from bringing the cup back to Canada. Next one is this Sat., June 5 Tampa Bay at Calgary ABC, CBC, RDS 8 p.m. (EST). So be home at 5pm in front of your TVs and be ready to sing the national anthem loud and proud.

Surprises are fun but not when the surprise sucks. All day yesterday I was looking forward to eating a joong for lunch. One with big hunks of fatty pork and egg. I salivated just thinking about it. After boiling it a while, I untied the string with indescribable anticipation, peeled off the leaves, tore into it with chopsticks firmly clenched in my fists, and...shiiiiit, it was RBS. Red bean shit. RBS is a big dissapointment after big Chinese feasts, but when it's staring at me from the middle of a pile of sticky rice that is supposed to be lovingly embracing a greasy piece of pork and golden yellow egg, I could only wonder what I did to deserve such bad karma. I was so pissed I could cry especially because I was in a huge rush to get out the door and didn't have time to make something else for lunch. All I could do was close my eyes and stuff it down my throat so that I wouldn't starve to death between 4pm and 9:30pm. Later that night I came home and had edamame and a bowl of cereal waaaah.

Cool my blog is finally listed in Rice Bowl Journals. Scroll to the bottom. Now more people can hear me whine about life!

Surfing through the many blogs on that directory has become a new time waster for me. There are a lot of great, insightful writers listed there.

I have come to accept the fact that I am not of sound mind in the day time. I have been conditioned to associate being at home in the day with the stress of unemployment and/or pulling together graduate applications and waiting for acceptance letters. Just being here while it's light out causes me all sorts of anxiety that keeps me from getting anything done (other than watching interior decorating shows). But once night falls, there's a certain calm. The same calm that allowed me to be really superhumanly productive when I was slaving away for software companies. The same calm that now allows me to write in coherent sentences and read academic articles without feeling the urge to get up every 5 minutes to take care of some menial task. But, alas, there is a problem with this. My natural late evening calm and alertness competes viciously with this Puritan work ethic thing that has become a part of me. Getting up past 10 am overwhelms me with guilt that I don't get over 'til, you guessed it, nightfall the next day. And so I waste another day fighting both guilt from sleeping in and anxiety that I'm conditioned to suffer from not having to actually be somewhere and doing something important in the day. So should I fight the urge to stay up late and get stuff done at night in favour of being productive in the day like most humans? Or do I say to hell with this puritan work ethic waking up early bullshit and live the life of a night owl?

For the first time since 1998, I have cleaned out my Outlook folders. I can't believe I had so much junk taking up space. e.g. auto reply emails from companies I applied to in 2000. If it weren't for pop up ads and viruses from hell infecting my computer and forcing me to reformat my drive, this cleanup would never have happened.

hehe check out the medicalert necklace I just had engraved for my friend Alex's belated bday gift.

School's out for the semester. I'm 25% finished my degree. Hooray. I've got a good list of shit to do over the summer, including finding an on-campus job to make some extra bucks, but I've run into that problem that I suffer whenever I'm out of school and out of work... the less I have to do, the less gets done. The inverse of which is the more I have to do, the more I get done. The biggest challenge for me is leaving the house. If all my tasks could be done sitting here in front of my computer, I would be so much more efficient. Unfortunately I can't get an oil change or car wash or get packages shipped out from my desk here. Dammit there's got to be a name for this disorder.

I sometimes have to ask myself why I am living in this country. When I first came down, it was like the gold rush of the late 1800s all over again. People my age were striking it rich working for these .com companies where they worked their asses off but were rewarded with free everything, lavish launch parties, and huge stock options. Suddenly work was fun and fulfilling and you, as an individual, contributed to the success of something really big. Of course now we know, there was no gold to be struck. Yet, I'm still here. The carnival atmosphere of the late 90s to 2000 is dried up and now we live in fear.

Once in a while I stop and realize that being in this country actually scares the shit out of me. 9/11 was a tremendous tragedy. Many innocent people died and their families still suffer today and always will. The threat of terrorism absolutely freaks me out. But two wrongs don't make a right. Slaughtering civilians by the thousands and torturing Iraqi soldiers and then, for Christ's sake, posing for pictures ($%?#!) does not bring back the victims of 9/11 or solve any problems for that matter. Americans sometimes wonder why the rest of the world hates America. After a performance like that, the question is, how can they not? And then you read garbage like this and fully realize how backwards some people in this country are. The only thing that scares me more than terrorism in this country is people who justify war and violence with all this Christian/conservative/patriotic rhetoric.

OMG these shirts rock.

My latest AOL CD came in a compressed wood box. What the hell. Before that it came in a tin. Even they poke fun at the fact that we get enough AOL CDs to create giant mosaics. So why the hell do they keep doing this? It pains me to throw them away because I can picture them piling up in some landfill but hell will freeze over before I go back to dial up and especially with AOL. I try to do what I can with the container it comes in though. I wonder if their free CD overload has any other consumers pissed. The environmentalist types couldn't be happy about this.

Hooray for NBC. The Fall line up includes a show with an Asian American lead. The Men's Room will be about 3 guys, one of them is John Cho. Can't wait to see it. I just hope they assign some good qualities to him. If he inherits those age old stereotyped characteristics like nerdy, unathletic, weak and lacking in sex drive, it'll be campaign time again. In the same vein, the Details Magazine apology will be coming out in June. We asked for a full page apology and a promise to do diversity training. We'll see what they produce. The draft we saw pretty much said "we're sorry you were offended." Is that a load of shit or what?

The only problem with staying up late to muck around online is that I get hungry and feel the need to, well, eat. But that means packing away another meal that my exercise deprived body doesn't need. So the key is to stay up late...but only to the point that I feel mild hunger pangs coming on.

I need a summer job bad. I'm going to have to resort to walking dogs and mowing lawns soon. The job with this program at school that helps transition low income students from high school to SF State will not likely pan out given that Arnie is making even the smarter kids go to junior college to somehow fix the budget shortfall. The other one I applied for was to check students in at a computer lab. Boring and low pay yes, but a job nonetheless but I didn't get the job. I have no idea how I could've not gotten the job unless the people who beat me to it had help desk experience and completed some corporate customer service training program or something. Productive to me means making some sort of money, even if it's just a little here and there to pay for books. Damn you Arnold.

I realize that once in while I have a hard time concentrating on tasks that require a fair amount of my attention. But what really distracts me more than anything is sharing my table with someone who is even less focussed than I. The guy who is sitting across from me right now in the library study area unpacked his bags on the table here about 30 minutes ago. One macro-econ text, two folders of papers, a notebook and a laptop. After all that, he put his head down and slept for about 20 minutes. He was probably nearing his REM stage when I moved my laptop over in hopes of getting a better Internet connection. (didn't work). Anyways, I think the rubber feet on my laptop dragging across the table echoed through the top of the table and right into ear because it woke him up quite suddenly. Sorry dude. He has since picked up some paper back book but in the last 10 minutes has not turned one page. I can tell he is reading the same paragraph over and over again. Have I gotten much work done in this time? Well, no. Too busy surfing wedding sites for Gi, watching this guy sitting across from me, and now blogging about it.

So summer is coming, which means fewer classes. A lot fewer. It's not like SFU's trimester system where you can take a full load year round, which was a beautiful thing. I'm taking a graduate level special topics course -- ie I develop a detailed thesis statement and do research on my topic for a semester under the guidance of my sponsoring prof. I'm very excited about doing this as it's the highest level of research I've ever done. I'll also be tutoring at least one student I know of over the summer, helping him catch up and get ready for grade eight, or eighth grade as they call it here. But what the hell am I going to do with the rest of my time? Well, since I'm only allowed to work legally on campus, I applied for some oncampus jobs. The problem? They pay a whopping $8.50 - $10 an hour. Yah you heard right. I've never made that little money in my life. My starting wage as a gymnastics coach (the job I worked between age 16 to 21) was around $12, usually it was more like $16. It sucks so bad to be applying for such low wage jobs but better to be making $8.50 an hour than spending it. I was also going to take a digital filmmaking course at College of San Mateo but it's around $550 and the credits don't really apply to my program so I'm thinking I'll learn by book, video and trial and error and use that money to buy more equipment. Might also volunteer to help with other people's documentary projects or something. Jeez I feel like my hands are tied not being able to get a real summer job like everyone else.

I ordered Charlotte Sometimes for $5.99 and free shipping from DeepDiscountDVD.com. I found that site from BensBargains.net.
Problem is I ordered it two weeks ago, it hasn't arrived and my order page says the order is shipped and complete. WTF. Where the hell is my DVD and what do I do now?

No matter what. I am completely inefficient and frustrated when my place is a mess. Going out and leaving the mess behind makes me feel guilty and even more frustrated when I get home. I don't know how some people can live like this. We haven't had time to really clean since Simon's family left. There's boxes from the cases of fruit and from various things purchased online and shipped all piled in a corner with all the free newspapers they keep delivering that we don't read. Jackets that never made it to the closet are all piled on the couch. I feel a desperate need to vaccuum and mop and clean everything I see but reality is I have 3 exams, a paper and a production project worth most of my mark all due in the next week and a half. So I must resist, although I spent yesterday and this morning doing 4 loads of laundry that I now have to fold (by myself I might add since someone seems to make a habit of going out every Thursday night even when there's more important things to do). Fuck.

Spencer Nakasako's film is on tomorrow night on TV! Nakasako is a local Asian American filmmaker who has won an Emmy award (I think it was for "AKA Don Bonus"). He's known for helping SF area youth at risk by lending them a camera to record their lives and teaching them the art of filmmaking and editing. I've seen one of his films, "Kelly Loves Tony" and it was really touching. Can't wait to see this one.

11pm Independent Lens (KQED Channel 9): "Refugee"

Three young Cambodian American men, raised on tough streets of San Francisco, travel to Cambodia and capture their experiences of meeting fathers, sisters and brothers for the first time.

So several people have reminded me the last episode of Friends is on tonight. Boohoo. Sadly, I don't care. The lack of minority representation (ethnic or otherwise) really ruins it for me. And, frankly, I don't find the show all that funny. I'm not that big on sitcoms in general but I find Will & Grace and Scrubs to have far greater laugh-out-loud, intelligent humour. Even better? Documentaries. It's APA Heritage month. Check out the REALLY good shit they have on KQED this month. If you have digital cable, check out Searching for Asian America.

Hanging out in the ugly, tiny, windowless, cement wall, basement level room we call a grad lounge, I heard another tidbit to file under "I can't believe how fucking stupid the undergrads in this school are". One of my peers is taking an undergrad (but upper level) psych course. The topic of discussion was how African Americans have higher blood pressure than people of other races in America. One student raised his hand and said "I think it, like, has to do with the civil rights movement." Woohoo, that definitely makes it in the top ten. I was told the prof then found some politically correct, non self-esteem damaging way to say that he'd completely missed the mark on that one. Apparently this is the student who, during introductions on the first day of class, informed everyone that he was taking the class because he had failed it once already.

If you have a page on LinkedIn.com. Do be careful if you currently have a job but your profile says that you are considering other opportunities. All I had to do was click on one of my previous companies' names and up popped all my former co-workers. Some are still at NetIQ but, gee lookie here, seems like they don't want to be there.

Just checked my phone bill. I used my cell for a whopping 37 minutes last month. I think it's time to downgrade my plan to basic plus. Thank god computer mediated communication don't cost me shit.

Borrowed from another blog, but I must post: http://whowouldbuythat.com/

I am too lazy to add a counter or swipe any code to track shit. But I'm curious who reads all this insight/garbage/bitching that I post. I know several people who read but dont post comments which is cool. My blog is public so whatever. I dont divulge secrets here anyways. Anyways, if you're reading this, please leave a comment with your name, real, fake, I dont care. I am just curious how many readers I got and I'm going to find out the old fashioned way -- by asking. The only thing I ask is that you not write horrible nasties or moronic sophomoric shit on my comments. please. thanks.

Just to clarify the last post. No I have not become single. But I have the occasional fantasy about being not just single, but also nomadic, invisible and having no social ties or responsibilities to anyone. You know when sometimes you want to just do stuff by yourself (I'm an only child, I grew to love the solitude)? ...well it's that feeling to the extreme.

It's argued that humans are social beings. Isolation chambers and being deserted alone on an island supposedly drives people insane. What if some people just want to be alone?

In western society, it's expected that people live their lives in pairs. Being single is like being left handed in a right handed world. It's just a disadvantage. It's the bad, the ugly, the other, the "alternative". Amusement park rides are meant to be ridden in pairs, cars come with seats in pairs, watches and towels come in his and her sets and tax breaks and benefits are for married couples. Society expects everyone to just pair up and those who don't live their lives in misery. OK, so maybe it's not a bad thing to be forced into pairing up. At least someone will be around to call 911 when you fall and dislocate your hip but the problem lies in the fact that the alternative, staying alone the rest of your life so you dont have to constantly put up with anyone other than yourself, is just not viable. Not economically. And not when it comes to dealing with the pressures and expectations of our rigid society. Kudos to those who are strong enough to go it alone.

I met someone at school today who shares a sleep condition I didn't know existed. I found out that opening my eyes in the middle of a nightmare about demonic possession or being chased by something malevolent and non-human and realizing that I cannot move or call out is called sleep paralysis. Other people experience it as something sitting on their chest so that they feel weighted down or suffocated. Phew, maybe I'm not crazy or in need of an excorcism. Take the survey if you also experience this. Or just read the info here if you're lucky enough to not be plagued by this terrifying disorder.

92.7 fm was our only all "dance" (i.e. mostly progressive, house and some cheezy techno, unfortunately, thrown into the mix) radio station. It wasn't perfect. The had a pretty limited collection and played stuff repeatedly and some of it was just techno-pop garbage. But it was the only station that was ALL electronic music. Tonight we turned on the radio on the way home from seeing Robot Stories and all of a sudden it was "92.7 The new home of hip hop". What the hell. How many more hip hop stations does the Bay Area really need? KMEL, Wild and now this? I'm sad. Now we just have Thump radio some nights which is awesome but it's not on all the time. I'm way too lazy to burn CDs and open my trunk and change up the CDs in my changer. Back to singing along to 80s hits I guess.

9.5 hours later I have completed one paragraph of my paper. Fuck. I am starting to connect with those commercials for adult ADD. If I could get paid for doing numerous random online tasks like checking email, blogging, reading blogs, seeing what the weather is like next week, searching for cheap airfare to Phuket, Thailand, looking for a used camcorder, reading reviews on DV editing software, checking out the bios of all my profs, posting to forums of all sorts, managing my Outlook rules, etc etc I would be richer than rich.

Big essay to do. I will not blog again til I finish it. Ok that's a lie. Let me at least write about the book I'm reviewing in my essay. It's called Monitored Peril (by Darrell Y. Hamamoto) and it's the best book I've ever read on the topic of Asian Americans on TV. It looks at all the stereotyped roles but more importantly goes into a whole socio-political history of our immigration patterns and world events and how they shaped the way European Americans see us. Excellent excellent book.

Go see Robot Stories. I met the writer/director Greg Pak and he's a darn swell guy. I also saw a little clip and it looks like a fun film. Oh and Tamlyn Tomita from Joy Luck Club is in it!

"Robot Stories"
Everything is changing... Except the human heart.
Winner of 33 awards. For screening times and locations, visit http://www.robotstories.net

So I must brag about the latest article about Simon's company because it's the first I've seen to fully and clearly articulate what his company does. I use the Telenav service whenever he lends me his Nextel phone and I would never go to the east bay without it :-). I use Telenav Track to get online and see where the hell Simon is when he's late. Hopefully the other carriers get on board within a year as is predicted in the article.

I have 9 am classes on Mondays and Tuesdays which means getting up at 7am to leave enough time to eat, commute, park, walk 5 blocks and get a good seat because I'm a supreme nerd. Problem is I have been getting this weekly case of insomnia since daylight savings, just on Sunday and Monday nights. Any other time I can pretty much fall asleep standing up. What the hell is going on here? I am now sympathic to all insomniacs around the world. I feel for you guys, man.

Unlike many girls, I have not been fantasizing about my wedding day since I was five years old. I do not know what my dress will look like or what music will be playing during our "first dance". And, unlike this one crazy roomate I had, I have not been subscribing to wedding magazines since the age of 20. In fact, I've only been to two weddings and couldn't even explain to you the role of each person in the wedding party. It was only after talking to G this weekend that I even realized how freakin much these productions cost. You're looking at upwards of a grand to rent the place for the ceremony and at least $500 per table for the reception, and that's the cost at a Chinese restaurant (not a fancy hotel or anything). Add a dress that costs at least another grand and misc stuff like cake, flowers, decorations, DJ, invitations, party favours, wine etc etc (not to mention the rings) and you're out AT LEAST $25K when it's all said and done. Even small budget weddings are at least $17K. Then you gotta do the traditional honeymoon routine. Good lord, in Canada, that would pay for a good chunk of your mortgage. It's unfortunate that it's become tradition to make such a big deal out of getting your name signed on a couple pieces of papers so you can share benefits and not be living in sin and shit. I just don't see the fun in all this. I don't get it at all. Maybe I'm lucky I spent more of my childhood climbing trees than playing with Barbie dolls.

Anyways, within the last 4 months I can count 6 couples, good friends of mine, who either just got engaged or are planning to really soon. This almost-30 age range sure sucks ass.

Found an interesting site that relates directly to a speech I once delivered on the topic of outsourcing and economically justified racism. I cannot believe some of the shit that technical publications are getting away with these days. Fucking witch hunt.

We had a guest speaker, Arnie something or other, from the American Association of Advertising Agencies in our ethics class today and throughout his entire 3 hour talk, I had to bite my lip to prevent from going on an all out tirade about what a chauvenistic, racially ignorant pig he is. What angered me more was that, judging from the enthusiastic applause at the end, the rest of my class did not seem the least bit offended.

Offense #1, he was telling a story about being in an elevator and seeing a "little cleaning lady", just "a little bubushka". While "bubushka" refers to an older Russian woman, using the term "little lady" is absolutely unacceptable. Infantilizing women through biased language like this serves to keep women subordinated in our society. We don't really need any help in that department.

Offense #2, he was talking about how one client from Cincinatti was hesitant to sponsor Queer Eye for the Straight Guy since it depicts "an alternative lifestyle and all". "Alternative" suggests abnormality, choosing to be different or deliberately categorizing oneself as a social oddity and I cannot think of one gay person who would call themselves "alternative" based solely on their sexual orientation. One's sexual orientation is what it is and should never be labeled "alternative".

Offense #3, he distributed a handout about how agencies are facing scrutiny by the City Commission on Human Rights in NYC because their hiring of minorities is lagging behind other industries. He had the NERVE to talk about all the programs they have to recruit minorities but they just "weren't getting enough". Dismissing the issue as a problem with lack of minority applicants completely ignores the well-documented fact that there is a glass ceiling for minorities. There are few ethnic minorities in big agencies and on their boards of directors, but "not enough applicants" is NOT the reason why. Racial prejudice in the corporate world is not something you can just sweep under the rug like that Arnie!

Offense #4, he talked about how tough it is to break into the advertising industry. How tough it was for him at the time because there was a big push to hire women and minorities which made it hard for him as A WHITE MAN. At this point I was about to explode. To even begin to suggest that affirmative action programs were detrimental to his career because he was a white male turns my stomach. We are not sitting on a level playing field here. We did not CHEAT you out of any opportunities. They were all yours to begin with and still are. He claims he lived the immigrant experience too, having come from Lithuania. But you cannot claim that the experience of a white versus non-white immigrant is the same, or even remotely similar. To suggest such a thing is to spit in the face of all the ethnic minorities who immigrated here, who suffered painful overt racism at the hands of Anglo-Americans (immigrant or not) who judged us based on race and skin color alone.

Ok this site in response to Whitney McNally's article in Details Magazine rocks. Ah the power of the Internet in social activism and campaigning is a beautiful thing. http://www.whitneymcnally.com

I am working on producing a radio show for a graduate seminar on media ethics. 20 minutes long. That's a damn long time. I've picked an interesting topic - stereotyping and racist (or at the very least, biased) language in sports broadcasting and journalism in the coverage of Asian American athletes. I figure there's plenty to talk about and it's not a topic that has been discussed to death. Damn, if I were thinking a little harder I would've chosen to talk about this William Hung mania. Oh well. Anyways, as I finished up my literature review and began to actually think about the format of my radio show (yes it's really going on the air, well campus air and streamed online), I came to realize that I don't listen to news radio. If I don't hear music, hockey commentators or traffic reports on the radio, I switch stations. There's two things I can't stand, hearing stupid people talk and listening to people argue and talk over each other. Until now, I didn't know that carefully produced radio shows with sound bites, readings, interviews and the like exist. NPR.org is where I've been going to listen to them and it's kind of like hearing an essay but with clips of interviews and opinions and, yes, intelligent people speaking, not a bunch of buffoons trampling all over each other. So yah, my final project involves putting one of these things together. Any advice or help? So far I'm trying to interview a journalist and maybe get some opinions of Asian American athletes, Asian Studies profs etc. Am I the only one who never listens to news radio?

OK just had a chat session with herman and i now feel compelled to record a list of our favorite soul/ghetto foods. So here they are: Spam (Herman's), canned corned beef with onions, corn nibs, and sometimes chillies(Herman's), cream of mushroom soup mixed with a can of baby clams with onions and herbs with pasta (herman's), macaroni and cheese, egg overeasy mashed into rice, corned beef with butter sandwich, cream of mushroom with pieces of chicken, can of creamed corned mixed with pieces of chicken. mmmmmmmmmm yummy. So what's your soul food?

R.I.P. Necknotch. April 19, 2002 - sometime between April 3-5, 2004. My second favourite hamster after her mommy, Curious. She developed some sort of internal tumour or something that made her tummy swell. Then sometime over the weekend she crawled into her little house, went to sleep and didn't wake up. It's rather convenient to have a pet that only lives 2 years max but it kinda sucks at the same time. I think it's time to make a new batch of baby hamsters. We got 3 horny boy hammies at home and one freakish one with skin problems and overgrown nails that I expect won't last too much longer.

California is so fucked up and funds so little to the CSU school system that I have to buy my own scantron sheets and essay booklets for my exams. Furthermore, the profs have such a small budget they are asked to post handouts online because the 5 cents per sheet to photocopy is way too much to handle. And this is before Arnold came into office. He has marched in and slashed some more. Now we have no equal opportunity and affirmative action department either cuz they all got canned/reassigned. What a freakin mess. There are some things I really hate about the US. Lack of healthcare and education funding are two of them. Lying, selfish, stupid politicians is a third one.

I hate Spring-forward daylight savings. SUCKS!

Friday night we all headed out to Butter for another night of good beats, no dress code, and cheap malt liquor. My favourites. We had decided to try to turn it into somewhat of a bar hop but Wish was packed, Loft 11 too expensive and Holy Cow and Paradise Lounge were spinning hip hop. Caliente is, well, not really our crowd. After that short tour we decided to go back to our comfy old standby, Butter.

As we were walking back to Butter, we passed by Studio Z.tv marked by a small sign and tiny doorway. I heard some good music coming from that little doorway and asked what cover was. $15. We were standing there thinking about it for a bit when a guy came up to us. "hey," he says, "if you guys wanna go in, tell them you know Pekin, you're a long time member of Cloud Factory, and Ernie's spinning right now". We're thinking, this guy's setting us up so he can get a good laugh. "What do you have to lose?" he says. Everyone but Simon and I go in and give them that line, which, after several malt liquors took them a really long time to remember.

Ray, James, Cecil, Shannph all come out... "nope, didn't work". Oh well. They headed back to Butter but Simon and I stayed back to chat with this Pekin character. Eventually he takes us two in with him and it was a small but happenin' party radiating good vibes galore. These Cloud Factory folks, he explained to us, were the ones involved with "Groove" the movie about the old SF rave scene. There was a guy painting on a big canvas next to the DJ and everyone there looked like ex-ravers/burning man types in their late 20s to 30s. In the chill out room, everyone was crashed on a couch all glassy eyed staring at a collection of mirrors hung against the wall swaying about. It was weird to be in a rave environment with people my own age while not "in the groove" myself.

Anyways, I just read a little more about this Cloud Factory Collective. Pretty interesting. Their site says "We are spreading a message of tolerance and diversity in a society that promotes intolerance and conformity, we create community in a society that promotes individuality, we further connection in a society that seeks alienation." What a refreshing philosophy. Not exactly the stuff you read on the web sites of other groups that throw events.

This was the party description.

Wow my cousin Lonny was profiled in the San Jose Mercury today. So awesome! Lonny you rock!

There's so much going on with the Banzai and Details campaigns that I can't keep up with homework or studying. At least my field of study is highly related but still... If our lives didn't revolve around money, jobs to make money, higher education to get the money making jobs, i think i would make a "livelihood" of being a filmmaker/political activist/advocate for various minority and interest groups. I think even if I hadn't been laid off, I would've given in eventually and realized that making money for some freaking software company was just not a good use of the short time I have on this earth particularly when I have the energy and passion for things that are so much more important. It's getting to the point that I'm irked and infuriated by people with a "who cares" attitude when there are so many injustices in this world, so many wrongs that need to be made right. We live in a fucking democratic society, I wish more people would take advantage of their right to speak out and make their voices heard, whether for themselves or on behalf of the voiceless. Not being at least somewhat socially conscious is just plain selfish.

I think I'm going to be a winner of a contest! Yay for me!

Looking young is what most people wish for. People spend thousands of dollars on creams and surgery and all that. But really, looking young is only advantageous if you're over 40 or so... and purely for the sake of vanity. I'm 28 and look 18 and there are no advantages to that at all, none whatsoever. People generally don't respect you (esp. at nice restaurants), don't take you seriously at work even if they're your subordinate, you get carded all the time, and it's hard to get a high level job when, during the interview process, they are secretly wondering how many years you've been out of high school.

Earlier this month I was volunteering at the Asian American film fest and it was mostly high school groups during the weekdays. This teacher started approaching me and I was getting ready to answer whatever questions he might have. As he got closer, he kind of mumbled, "oops, I thought you were one of the students. I was going to ask you to sit down." And his class was from a MIDDLE SCHOOL, not even a high school. I'm sick of people telling me how grateful I should be that I look young. Maybe I'll be grateful when I am 40, but right now I wish I just looked my freakin' age because I'm sick of being constantly treated like some snot nosed teenager. Maybe I should screen my ID and resume on a damn t-shirt and wear it every day.

The other day in my Asian Americans and Mass Media course, we were discussing the LA Riots which took place in 1993. The media made it out to look like a racial conflict between Korean storeowners and Blacks. One independent film named Sa i Gu (literally April 29th) involved really touching interviews with many residents of the area, both black and Korean and most of them pointed out that the cause of the riot was not racial tension but poverty and anger at the police and judicial system after 4 police officers were released after beating the shit out of Rodney King. Were the black folks angry? Hell yeah, but not at the Koreans. They just happen to be easy targets since they can't go and attack the LAPD directly. Both sides noted that white run media love to pit subordinate groups against each other to deflect negative attention from the real issue - the fact that both groups blame white dominated institutions including the LAPD, judicial system, government welfare etc. It was really enlightening to see that point of view. Anyways, during this discussion the prof asked what we remembered of the very biased media coverage of the incident (angry black people, hysterical inarticulate Korean women, Korean men pointing guns at looters from rooftops). The response? "I don't really remember, I was nine at the time." Damn that was a reality check. I'm freaking almost a decade older than many of my classmates, at least in my undergrad classes. I cannot wait to get these undergrad prereqs and electives over with.

This guy on the plane next to us flying from YVR to SFO had a funny hat. A white trucker type baseball cap. It said Northern Louisiana Juvenile Detention Center. I was thinking this could be one of two things. First, it might've been some attempt to be funny. Kinda like when people wear those shirts that say they escaped from Alcatraz or some shit like that. Second, it could've really been a hat from a juvenile detention center. Kinda like when you get a shirt or hat that says hmm Sun Microsystems or NetIQ or something. But then I thought, who the hell would want to tell people that they have something to do with a juvie? Actually, why would such an institution even order hats or shirts unless it's part of some uniform? Bizarre man. Anyways, I didn't really feel like asking because generally I don't like to strike up conversations with people on a plane cuz then you feel obligated to make small talk with them throughout the trip. I'm so anti-social.

Back from Vancouver last night. I swear I tidied up before I left but everytime I come back from a trip there's these little gnomes who come into our place and make a huge mess for me - papers all over the coffee table, clothes on the couch, laundry hanging to dry in the living room *sigh*. Oh well, it was an awesome trip made even better by some great deals we got. First deal, hotel room we booked with Hotwire.com. It was one of those deals where you pick the price and hotel quality ($105 USD, 4 stars) but don't know what hotel you'll get, how many beds (minimum of two singles I think) and (what I realized later) whether or not the room is non-smoking. We lucked out and got a place at Le Chamois at the base of the Wizard lift at Blackcomb. It was non smoking and not just two beds, but two beds in two separate rooms with two tvs and two full bathrooms. Damn, we could've split the cost with 3 other people but unfortunately no one else could make it. The hotel room was sweet! Deal number two, we headed to Seymour on Saturday so I could teach Simon how to snowboard. Price should've been $25 for the equipment rental and $26 for each of our lift tix (after 4pm). Somehow we only got charged the price for rope tow ($14) instead of lift so the grand total for 2 lift tickets and a rental was $50. Later that evening we headed to the Latin Quarter (1305 Commercial Drive, awesome Spanish tapas) for dinner. We had two pitchers of sangria at $25 each and fed 5 people about a dozen dishes (ranging from $8 to 16, mostly around $12 I think). Somehow the bill came out to $168 (including tax). We think they didn't charge us for the second round of stuff we ordered but we didnt look at the bill too closely. All this brought flashbacks of these stupid quizzes I took for my ethics course and how the ethical thing to do is report anything you think was undercharged. Fortunately I've been ripped off too many times for me to feel guilty about things like this.

It's been brought to my attention that this pic of Ray
bears some resemblance to the gay dog on South Park.

Found a new site today Blogs Canada. I'm liking the logo. I'm debating, what are the benefits of publishing one's blog on a public directory? It's kind of fun to think you might be communicating your passing thoughts to the masses. One drawback, however, would be getting unwelcome/obscene comments on my backblog which I can't edit because I dont wanna pay for premium membership. hmmm

Apartment/condo living is always so hit and miss even if your place is nice. Well ours isn't what I call nice but my point really is that the variable you cannot control is what your neighbors are like. Back at Miramar, we loved the place but I wanted to kill my downstairs neighbor for launching unjustified complaints about noise (it was impossible to go up our spiral stairs without it echoing to his apartment, poor design, not our fault). Of course I fought back by complaining about him coming upstairs and peeking through our window. Now at Admiralty, our neighbour to the right is a really nice guy, really friendly. However we never see him with his wife. But I do get to hear her yell at him at the top of her lungs on average 3- 4 times a month. Obscenities and cursing aplenty I tell you. Soonafter, he usually goes out to his balcony and has a smoke which then carries into our apartment so I have to run around and shut all the windows. The family on the left side are these God-fearing people with a huge picture of Jesus and Mary on their front door. They're not terribly friendly. They also have this fucking windchime that goes crazy on windy days of which we had many last month. Simon wants to put up a sign that says "God hates windchimes". I just want to hop the divider on the balcony, rip it down and stuff it down the throat of their teenager who is currently blasting hip hop music that is shaking my walls. So any good neighbour stories?

I just finished my first big essay of the semester. It amounted to 7 pages double spaced. I've written papers four times that length but I'm so out of practice it has completely drained me. Actually writing in general, when I actually devote care, attention and effort to choosing just the right words, makes me really exhausted. I once wanted to become a journalist. I wonder if I would've quit by now for fear of losing all my hair and developing ulcers.

OK sign this. http://www.petitiononline.com/ccbanzai/petition.html

Yay on the Ban Banzai front, Yum Foods (pizza hut, taco bell), Wendy's Restaurants, United Airlines and Ikea have agreed not to advertise on Banzai. Here's my letter to Comedy Central:

Dear Comedy Central,

I am shocked and appalled by your plans to air Banzai after Fox pulled the show in response to numerous complaints from the Asian American community. Banzai is extremely offensive to Asian Americans. The show uses exaggerated expressions, broken English, mock Asian accents, and even features Caucasian actors in yellowface (those geishas showing their panties are white women passing as Japanese - this is absolutely hideous and nothing of the sort has been shown on TV since Charlie Chan in the 1930s).

I'm sure Comedy Central would be instantly opposed to showing Blacks wearing bones pierced through their noses and cooking people in cast iron pots. And showing Caucasian characters in black face would be absolutely unthinkable.

Well Banzai is no different.
The stereotypes and depictions of Asians in that show are hurtful, archaic and disgusting. Anyone at Comedy Central who passes it off as harmlessly funny is WAY off base and needs a good history lesson. You can't just mask racism with stupid humor.

I am thoroughly disgusted by this program and ask that it be pulled. Wendy's Restaurants and Yum! Brands (Pizza Hut/Taco Bell), who pulled their advertising from Fox, have already written to us and agreed not to advertise on Banzai on Comedy Central. Ikea and United Airlines have also agreed not to advertise and our concerns have been voiced to other Comedy Central advertisers as well.



Respectfully,
Vanessa Au
more info at
http://www.asiandiversity.com/magazine/article_detail.htm?AID=78669324
http://www.imdiversity.com/villages/asian/Article_Detail.asp?Article_ID=18253
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/3076585.stm

***************************************************

Vanessa Au

Candidate, M.A. Radio & Television,

San Francisco State University

On Banzai:

"It's just all the backward images of Asian-American people," says Guy Aoki, co-founder of Media Action Network for Asian Americans, a watchdog group that monitors the portrayal of Asians in media. "This is like an Asian minstrel show." It's no wonder that people like Aoki are up in arms at Banzai's shoddy portrayals of the Japanese and their customs. Even if Banzai is plainly theater of the absurd, it comes dangerously close to masking racism under the guise of stupidity. Just because something is idiotic, doesn't make it any less offensive.

***************************************************

Nothing feels better than writing a good protest letter once in a while whether it's to free Tibet, free the latest political prisoner or to get racist shirts pulled off the shelves at Abercrombie. People really don't take advantage of the fact that we live in a democratic society where we can take action to induce social change without getting caned or executed. North Americans really need to get more active. Complaining to your friends gets you nowhere, but organized action can actually produce results.

Lately I've turned my attention back to media portrayals of Asians since it's my area of study. Just recently, efforts to get Banzai off the air (from Fox) were successful. Banzai is a UK-made parody of Japanese game shows complete with fake accents, horrible Asian stereotypes and even Caucasians in yellow face. It would pretty much be the equivalent of showing Blacks wearing bones pierced through their noses and cooking people in cast iron pots, plus a good number of Caucasian characters in black face for good measure. It's just not right and anyone who thinks Banzai is harmlessly funny is WAY off base and needs a good history lesson. Letters to Fox's advertisers got the show pulled but now it's being picked up by Comedy Central. If you want to help get this bullshit off the air go to the Asian Media Watch site and send off a few letters to the network and their advertisers. Asian Americans are typically stereotyped as passive and politically inactive, let's show 'em otherwise.

Today I made my mark on a bathroom stall. No not with a sharpie. With a piece of chalk. The facilities managers at SF State probably realized that students are going to doodle while they, uh, doodle regardless of the rules, so most of the bathrooms stalls are equipped with a small chalkboard and chalk to allow us to make our voices heard as we squat. What a wonderful idea. I responded to a message about impeaching Bush by posing my own question, "what about Arnie and his cuts to CSU?" Too bad I dont remember where I wrote this and wont be able to check for responses.

Heading back to Van for my spring break in a couple weeks with Simon. As with my last couple trips I'm hoping to avoid the always disappointing club and after hours scene in favour of restaurant and lounge/bar hopping. We want to get a taste at as many restaurants as possible and then do a not-too-strenuous lounge or bar night. Nothing too crowded (Shine), pretentious (ie Voda or Au Bar) or expensive (Ginger/Crush). Something along the lines of Jupiter Lounge. Any other restaurant or lounge suggestions?

I love this beautiful weather. Shorts and tank top weather in March! But for some reason, the sun brings allergies and right now I'm so damn congested, I'm wishing I could breath through my ass. I tried steam, eucalyptus aromatherapy oil, Claritin. Nothing. I even discovered this great home remedies site but not much written on nasal congestion.

I'm watching the funniest shit on VH1. Some game show host is out in a mall asking people to complete nursery rhymes. Some people obviously weren't read to when they were young. Here are a few that I remember:

- There was an old woman who lived in a... A: project?
- It's raining, it's pouring the old man is... A: drinking?
- Jack and Jill went up a hill to... A: have some fun?
- Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was... A: all sticky

How tragic.

More on phone-o-phobia. Concept, I think you have helped me to figure out the source of this nonsense. I too used to screen calls like crazy at work. Almost all my calls were either from these bozo corporate marketing people in Houston asking me stupid questions or nagging at me for something or from the international marketing/pr people asking me even stupider questions. I've honestly never liked talking on the phone at great length since I was oh, 16 or so, but the phone avoidance behavior I think definitely started at work. I also have this fear about leaving my phone on by accident and having it ring at an inopportune time (e.g. when I was doing my fiction reading for a small audience at some arts center) so now I only turn it on when I'm out and about on the weekends. My close friends have my house number so they know to reach me there during evenings and mornings.

I have a problem I call phone-o-phobia. Quite opposite of what most other people have - an obsession with answering their phones, checking voicemail, text messaging, calling people and talking for hours. I think that I might have accidentally become conditioned (in a Pavlov's dogs sort of way) to hate using my cell phone, and my house phone for that matter. Maybe I received bad news over the phone or got so many unwanted calls that I learned to associate those ill feelings with my phone ringing and me answering it. I always screen my calls and ignore numbers I don't know. When I get a voicemail, I absolutely dread checking it and often wait til I've collected 10 messages over a week or so before I check em all at once. By that time most of those messages are dated and, well, pointless. But I cant help it. I dont like answering my phone. I'm a little more ok with calling people, but not by much. I'm really not ok with long phone conversations. I feel crippled talking without seeing or being seen.

However, I have become hopelessly addicted to computer mediated communication - IM and email. I think it's the fact that I have a choice over what to read, when to read it and have an opportunity to preview what's coming and get a sense for whether it's good, bad, neutral, boring, waste of my time etc. Is anyone else out like this or should I be seeking free counselling at school before the budget cuts take effect.

My allergies are telling me that Spring has most definitely sprung. I constantly have that irritated throat yeet hay feeling, my eyes are itchy, my throat is itchy, my nose is runny and I am all wheezy. Luckily they now have Claritin OTC here but for whatever reason, it ain't working that well. Might need to stock up on Reactin on my trip back home. I wonder what Chinese medicine prescribes for allergies.

This is a long post but it is my last Toastmasters speech which I delivered on Wednesday night and I kinda had a fun time writing it so I thought I'd share:

As far back as 1993, 98% of U.S. households owned at least one TV set, 64% had two or more TVs. Children in America watch an average of three hours of television programs a day. This does not include other uses of the TV, like movies and video games. In total it is estimated that children spend about the same number of hours in front of the television as they do at school.

One could say then that children learn as much from television then as they do from school. This is highly problematic, not just for children but for adults as well.

Now, if I learned everything I know about the world from television alone, I would be inclined to believe that
families come complete with two children and a supportive mother and father
I'd believe that problems within the family can be solved in a mere 30 minutes, minus commercials and that non-traditional families such as single parent or divorced families are completely and 100% dysfunctional

If I learned everything I know about the world from television alone, I would be inclined to believe that people don't work that hard to make a living and that one can actually afford to live in a Manhattan apartment on the income of a struggling actor or masseuse
I'd believe that everyone is happily employed and that poverty is not an issue in this country
But I'd believe that every other country outside of the US is a third world country

If I learned everything I know about the world from television alone, I would be inclined to believe that violence, aggression and other anti-social behaviors can be carried out without negative consequence and might even be rewarded
I'd believe that there is a constant threat of a terrorist attack or violent crime, even in my neighborhood
I'd believe the police are always impartial, always on my side and never abuse their power

If I learned everything I know about the world from television alone, I would be inclined to believe that men are stronger and wiser than women, women are slyer than men and gay men are better than anybody at choosing your wardrobe.
I'd believe that lesbians are angry and trans-sexuals are just plain crazy
I'd believe that sex = power, even for high ranking women

If I learned everything I know about the world from television alone, I would be inclined to believe that Asian women are conniving or erotic, Black men are funny, Native Indians are slow and primitive, Middle Eastern men are terrorists and Asian men never get the girl.
I'd believe that white=default, that Caucasians are more trustworthy and racism is a non-issue
I'd believe that people with physical or mental disabilities simply don?t exist

If I learned everything I know about the world from television alone, I would be inclined to believe that the ideal body includes buns of steel and 6 pack abs, and that nothing is more shameful than gray hair, body hair, stretch marks, blemishes, wrinkles and, God forbid, erectile dysfunction!
HOWEVER, I'd also believe that there is a product out there that I can buy to solve any issues I have with my body

Like it or not, television is a source of socialization for viewers of all ages. It influences the way we think, act and how feel about the world.

You must remember that television does NOT equal reality.

Don't let the commerce-driven agenda of TV networks and advertisers distort your view of yourself or your world. Spend more time observing the world YOU live in and be critical of what you see on TV.

I'm sitting here trying to write a short paper comparing the codes of ethics for 3 societies of professional journalists and listening to a CD full of 80s classics that Jane made me. I hate working on this paper. This music has inspired me to jump on google and do my regular "where are they now" searches. This time for Tiffany whom I was just listening to. I'm so fascinated by the eighties. The fashion was horrible but I think my favourite music came out of that decade with maybe a little spillover into the early 90s. Check out this site and, oh, dont forget the Tiffany fan site. Not sure if you grew up in the eighties? Check here. I am also obssessed with watching those VH1 specials. The specials on 1984-1988 were awesome. Long live Atlantic Starr, Air Supply and The Police! OK shit, back to this stupid paper.

You know you're old when you start saying things like "i don't understand kids these days". Or maybe I just don't understand kids in the United States. The twelve year old I tutor always has such interesting stories about what happens at his school. He goes to middle school which is grades 6-8. So keep in mind, that's age 11-14 or thereabouts. A new kid at his school recently got kicked out cuz he got busted for cocaine possession. Apparently a good number of cop cars showed up to deal with the situation. Another couple kids in grade 7 were, I believe, expelled because they were caught smoking pot. Here's my question. How do kids, who really shouldn't be old enough to be going out, get connections for weed and cocaine? That means they probably need to get hook ups with kids who are at least 3-4 years older. The freakish thing is, if you dont remember what a 12/13 year old looks like, they've barely hit puberty. We're talking not one pimple, no facial hair and about 5' tall. The worst thing kids did when I was in grade eight was smoke and maybe borrow stuff from their parent's liquor cabinet. I wonder if the kids today at good ol' Montgomery Middle School in Coquitlam, BC are anything like that. My mom tells me the Centennial kids have a pretty bad reputation now. Harrassing the neighbouring rec center staff so badly that they are asking for police protection.

If I could have something that money can't buy, I think I'd wish for 4" in height, greater artistic talent, and a photographic memory. How about you?

I just got two copies of a hoax email. Kinda like Denny's but mine looks to be a virus. It's sent from security@microsoft.com but really it's laughable. The title reads "Use this patch immediately !" and the email goes like this:

Dear friend , use this Internet Explorer patch now!
There are dangerous virus in the Internet now!
More than 500.000 already infected!

Is this the invasion of the dumb wannabe hackers with pathetic grammar and no sense of what looks genuine, or what?

You gotta love the local Bay Area news. With so many people here, there's no shortage of weird stories. Last night police in the east bay embarked on a search for a reported dead body in a park. They concluded the search when they found a man alive and well. Apparently he likes to meditate in the middle of the night lying on his back in a few inches of water in the park's creek. What the hell kind of meditating environment is that? It's freaking freezing out, you're wet and muddy, there's probably bugs crawling up your ass and you're probably lying on some dog shit. Man, that's funny.

How much can I cram into one week? I'm currently taking 13 credits and tutoring 7 hours a week. On top of that I get the occasional college entrance essay to edit for some cash as well. Add homework and studying on top of that. And something new that I didn't have to deal with when I went to SFU - doing laundry, getting groceries, making dinner every night and cleaning the house. I'm trying to figure out if I should apply for another 20 hours of on-campus work on top of all this. It pays a whopping $9.10/hr which is decent by college job standards and it's for an OK job writing articles for some department and some clerical work. But it's hard to know how much is too much anymore. I'm tempted to test myself...

Man, I'm a sucker. I just got an email that told me that Ringo had been purchased by Tickle.com. So I signed in and poked around a bit. They're a Friendster copycat but covered in flashing banner ads and slightly disorganized. They've got some fun quizzes and stuff so I clicked through the handwriting analysis one. It took longer than I thought but it was kinda fun to pick out the sample that looked the most like my handwriting. When I hit the final submit button, all it told me was that I am trustworthy. To get more details, I would have to purchase the results. Bah. Anyways, I still like Friendster's layout and usability the best even though they need to do some serious upgrades to fix the slowness. Orkut isn't too bad. They would be my second choice. I'm not liking this Tickle thing. There's more advertising than personal space on your main page and it's tough to figure out in general.

Update on the potential dilemma. There's no longer a dilemma. Autodesk won't do an H1-B. I didn't ask my ex-boss to ask HR about a TN because it's so temporary that such a visa for a job that I know won't move me along in my career a whole lot wouldn't be worth quitting school for. So I can concentrate on my homework now. :-) I think I'm ok with all this. If I dropped everything for this job, it would return me to my other career track where I would continue to do stuff that I don't find intellectually challenging or personally rewarding. Would I have a bunch of money to go shopping every weekend? Yup. But thinking long term, it wouldn't make me a happier person. I'm taking some serious short term financial pain here...I sure hope it leads to long term gain, both personal and financial.

So B asked me yesterday if you could really get a PhD in media studies. I guess that just means that people generally don't know what the heck my field is about and understandably so. Most people know of PhDs in sciences and engineering, not something that seems as abstract as media studies. So short history lesson. If you've ever heard of Marshal Mcluhan. He's the grand-daddy of mass communication studies. He was a Canadian who did his undergrad work at University of Manitoba (be proud Ray!). He also studied at Cambridge, taught at University of Wisconsin and served as Director of University of Toronto's Centre for Culture and Technology. The focus of his work (and mine) is the effects of mass media. He looked at how the medium shapes the message being delivered and coined the term "global village", the cultural coming together of geographically disparate communities as a result of mass communication. Mass Comm PhDs typically aim to dedicate their lives to research, teaching or working for a media company as an analyst or consultant. There's many different areas of focus within the field as well. I'm tailoring my program to focus on media, race and gender.

Wednesdays and Thursdays are my homework days but right now I can't concentrate on anything. I just got an email from my favourite boss in the world (the guy offered to loan me money after I lost my job at Scale Eight to help me stay here and look for work). He is at Autodesk now in SF and is looking for marcom manager who would, I assume, report to him. I've just handed over in excess of $5K plus books for school this semester which basically puts me 1/4 of the way through my program. I've also developed a rapport with one professor who might get me a TA position for the summer too.

I've just replied to my ex boss asking what their visa policy is regarding H1-B because I'm a little scared of applying for a TN (long complicated story on that one). If the answer is "all clear on the H1-B" I'm headed for a VERY difficult dilemma in my life. Any advice? If I'm guaranteed a visa, do I ditch school and throw away the time, money, effort I've already spent? The visa and pay cheque and opportunity to work for an AWESOME boss would be what I have to weigh. As for the job itself, I've done that stuff before and can do it in my sleep, so it's a lateral move, not upward.

They say never to point a laser pointer into your eye, or other people's eyes for that matter. Well we played laser tag on Saturday and there were lasers pointing all over the place including straight into my eyes. How is that different from pointing a laser pointer into my eye?

I file this under E for EEEWWWW! It's funny the stuff you come across when you're shopping for free stuff on craigslist.

How many people can boast that their mom is in a band? Isn't that the epitome of coolness? Well, the mom of the 9-year-old I tutor is a drummer in a band. Unfortunately I can't make it to their next gig at the Beale Street bar and grill but check out the B-Cups' web page. The mommy/drummer I know is Deb on the left.

I have to put together a log of all my media activity for a week for a media ethics class. I realized something. I rarely just park my ass in front of the TV and stare at it. The TV is on a lot. I started feeling guilty that it is sometimes on for 3.5 hours a day. But, unless 24 is on, it's usually just playing in the background while I read, do homework, cook, clean, surf the web or eat. I guess if I'm multitasking that's not so bad. I wonder if those surveys about how much TV our children are watching takes into account whether they're sitting there staring at the thing, or multitasking.

It was a beautiful day today. Not a cloud in the sky. Hard to believe it's mid-February. I was walking through the "quad" at school. A big grassy area lined with trees between the library and student union building. Some students were tossing a football around, others were sitting on a blanket reading. Music was blaring from the stereo speakers next to a fraternity's information table. As I walked though the quad en route to my car parked 5 blocks away, a couple thoughts crossed my mind. (1) How come I don't remember such a scene at SFU? and (2) what is the point of a frat or sorority if there's no frat or sorority housing at SF State?

In answer to number 1, well... we had no grass. The area between the AQ and business building was designed by Arthur Erickson to be the gathering place for students. Anyone who attended SFU knows full well that students march right through that area to get to the bookstore, library or other end of the university. Why? Let's see, it was usually cold and rainy outside and being surrounded by concrete rarely makes people feel the urge to stop, congregate, and engage some scholarly discussion. SF State is by no means a good-looking school. Stanford is what you call a beautiful school. But that patch of grass outside the student union building at SFSU seems to make school feel more like a place to maybe stick around just a little longer.

As for number 2, I have no idea the answer to that one. What the hell is the point of a sorority or fraternity? The mission statements I've seen from the groups at SFSU are pretty vague if not meaningless. Even those Greek groups at bigger schools with houses for people to live in. What do they offer other than a place to stay and instant network of friends to party with (to the exclusion of other students)? I don't get it.

I've come to realize I have volunteeritis. I've become addicted to volunteering for every cause that interests me and unfortunately there's too many of them. I'm now behind in my reading for school and even further behind in sleep and house cleaning and haven't had a meal at home on a weekday for a week and a half. I dunno how people keep up this kind of schedule (or busier even) and still find time to work out and party on weekends. I value my sleep too much. There was once a time I worked, then went to night school til 10pm then to the gym before going home at midnight and getting up the next day at 7:15am. I think I'd collapse if I did that now. Maybe it's all mental and I just have no discipline. Maybe it's old age creeping up on me.

Help. I just half-volunteered myself for a humorous speech contest. Round 1 takes place March 3rd. So that means I need a topic that's, well, funny. HELP!!! It's hard enough to speak publicly much less try and be funny. Please submit your comments with speech topic suggestions. I already did a speech on what's cool and not-so-cool about Canada and another speech on how to best handle a going to the DMV office. I'm not sure i have any more funny material. hmm how bout something to do with my observations in dating/picking up at parties. (i'm sure i'll be able to get a lot of material from last week at jin and lonny's birthdays)

I have such an incredible talent for getting laid off, I even got sent home from a volunteer position tonight. I hauled my ass through some flukey late evening traffic to get up to 111 Minna to help out with the SF Int'l Film Fest kick off party. I got through the door and the lady at the counter pulled me aside and said, "I think we got all the help we need. There's really not much for you to do right now". To that I replied, "I would prefer you GIVE me something to do because I came from a bit of a distance to volunteer tonight." She sends me over to another lady who drags me through the dense crowd to the volunteer coordinator (this disturbingly disorganized woman who sends really confusing emails). She apologizes and tells me she sent a bunch of the early shift volunteers home already and didn't expect things to go so smoothly so she doesn't need me. She goes and checks my name off a list so I can get credit for my free film vouchers. I'm thinking, that's fine and nice and all but really missing the point. Then she says "yeah unfortunately when the other volunteers get here, I'll have to tell them there's no work for them either." I start to get the feeling this woman has never managed a project in her life. Wouldn't it have been wise to add phone numbers to that list of volunteer names so that maybe she could call us and tell us we wouldn't have to battle traffic, waste gas and drive circles looking for parking so we could stand there and do nothing or elect to turn around and head home? Guess I just gotta come to terms with the fact that some people got their shit together and some don't. It's tough being a type A personality.

I don't know if it's a difference between Americans and Canadians or a difference between SFU and SFSU students or the fact that people 8 or 9 years younger than me are just of a different breed, but I noticed a lot of really rude and obnoxious behaviour as I sat in one of my prerequisite classes this morning. This is a 25 person production class where we're all seated in a little semi circle in 3 rows. The class started at 9:10 am and all the way up until 9:50, there was a constant stream of students straggling into the class late, some making no effort at all to sneak in quietly. One girl made a huge production of her arrival by walking right up to the prof as he was lecturing and asking him in a big voice (while chewing her gum real loud) "could you tell me what class this is?" I almost fell out of my chair. Evidently, she had found the wrong room. But rather then leave with her tail between her legs, she had the gall to stall our lecture further by asking the prof how to find the room she was looking for. He kindly pointed her in the right direction (the man either has incredible patience or is used to this shit from students) and she walked like someone doing a bad runway model impersonation back out into the hallway.

Today is my first day of classes and fuck I slept in and missed my first class. What the hell! I set my alarm for 7:15am so I could sit in on a full class and try to get on the wait list (grad students always have priority). I'm a little rusty at this alarm setting business and although I set the time, I didnt actually switch the thing to alarm mode. Oh well. I have a 1pm grad level class on Media and Ethics so I'm looking forward to that. I'm am such a retard.

New web site constructed by some folks on a Yahoo group that I'm an active member of. Please check out AsianMediaWatch.net.

I have to thank all the programmers who come up with stuff like this to feed my addiction to totally wasting my time sitting in front of a computer. Oh well, at least this had somewhat of a cathartic effect. I no longer feel the need to hit things with a big stick. By the way, my highest score was 554.6. I should note, however, that it took me a few minutes to figure out what I was supposed to do and I probably scored zero more times than anyone.

I had a very uncool moment last night. I was walking home from the library after tutoring like I do three nights a week. I had my back pack on and my hands jammed deep in my pockets cuz it got a little chilly. I picked up the pace a little as I got onto Foster City Blvd right in front of my place and somehow I managed to trip, either on my own feet or on some uneven pavement. I thought I'd be able to recover but I was quite wrong. I realized that when you're hauling a laptop on your back and your hands are stuck in your pockets, it's pretty hard to get yourself back upright in mid-tumble. I ended up crashing on my elbow, then on my side and doing some weird roll right onto the grass in front of the apartment. Luckily the people who live in the suite above were no longer on their balcony barbequeing like they were earlier, so I don't think I had an audience except from some drivers out on the street. But it was all kinda funny. When I got home, I realized I had a real nice pavement scrape from my elbow all the way to my wrist. Good thing I always have polysporin on hand. I can't believe how accident prone I am.

I am so lazy sometimes, it hurts. I can't really get myself to do anything unless I truely, sincerely WANT to do it. Like sitting in front of this damn screen and reading useless shit. That's a slam dunk. This quality of mine makes laundry, buying groceries, finishing my short story, working out, making dinner, cleaning up this pile of books on the floor next to my chair and filing my taxes really really difficult. Someone needs to invent a motivation pill. I could use a few. Good thing I never decided on going to business school. I would've flunked out for sure. God, I make sloths look like creatures with boundless energy.

In a grand effort to avoid the famed "all Asian, mostly hip hop music" type parties this weekend (particularly Tribeca where the women bear no shame in going to extraordinary lengths to look like complete sluts), Simon and I went on a quest to check out some lounges we had never been to before. Soluna by civic center was the first. Real nice inside. Unfortunately it was a special funk event so there was a cover ($5) and the only people in there sported mile-high afros and retro aviator sunglasses (you'd think an unlikely pair). The place looked classy, velvety and comfortable, but pretty empty. Will defintely need to go back there with more friends another time.

Next stop Vertigo in an area some call the Tendernob. Basically Bush and Polk I believe. We managed to sneak in when the door guy went in to take a leak so we saved on the whopping $2 cover. It was definitely a neighbourhood bar type place. Cheap drinks e.g. $4 sour apple martinis, and a small dance floor. Mostly white with a somewhat generous smattering of Asians. Definitely a mixed crowd in terms of sexual orientation. Gay couples were gettin' their groove on right alongside the often mixed race heterosexual groups. If it weren't for the terrible music and lack of trendy hipster types, I'd say the place defined the diversity that is San Francisco. Get a real DJ and some people with some fashion sense who aren't completely tone deaf and you'd have yourself a great party.

We left Vertigo after our first drink and headed down the block to Lush Lounge. Incidentally they also had a $4 special on sour apple martinis. Fancy that! Unfortunately, Winston ordered a round of Cable Cars. Quite a nasty concoction that I would not have been able to stomach if it weren't for the sugar and cinnamon lining the edge of my martini glass. The music was quiet and it seemed that most customers were there to sip a drink and engage in conversation with friends (new and old). ie. there was some low key macking going on. We got a nice spot by the window with a great view of Club Divas, which I found out later is a club for the transgendered folks. Um yeah, we were kinda wondering why the women coming out of there were so...uh how do you say...manly. Lush was where we ended our little lounge hop. There are so many places in SF to explore, it's a shame we don't do this more often.

I'm happy to report my toe is no longer purple. It's also almost back to normal size. There's still a funny bump on it though. Should I be getting this looked at?

Bored? Check out this archive. This guy asked people to send in 100 things about themselves. He took the first 100 entries and posted them on his blog. He has them organized by number on the left hand column. His own is in the body of the page. Much more interesting than those chain emails that ask your favourite number and how you like to put in a roll of toilet paper (under or over).

You know sometimes when you stub your toe so damn freakin' hard that you swear it's broken, but after you take off your sock to inspect it, there's not a mark? Well, tonight while walking to the kitchen I came really close to breaking it for real. I stubbed it on a chair leg just like I normally do once a week or so. I let out a yelp (as usual) that you folks in Vancouver could probably hear. I took off my sock expecting to see nothing but EGAD! my second smallest toe on my right foot was purplish and had a whitish lump between the knuckle and my toenail. I thought to myself, shit that better not be bone fragment or something nasty. It's been 6 hours and it hurts to bend my toes or press them to the floor and that lump is still there. But I remember learning in first aid that if you can move a joint, chances are it's not broken. I figure it's just badly bruised and swollen. Man if anyone steps on my foot tomorrow I'm gonna deck them one.

Tomorrow is my first day of school (sort of). It's my international student reception and orientation. In preparation for school I thought I would check out the various student organizations at SFSU to see if there's anything that I could join (where I'm not older than everyone else by like a decade, remember freshmen are 18-19!).

I didn't find any to join but I found a bunch that made me laugh my ass off. For example, the Forces of Nature club. I'm not sure what that is because they don't have a web site but you should smell some of Simon's forces of nature. Maybe he could be an honourary member. Then there's the Latter Day Saints club led by, oh fuck, one of my profs. So does that mean I gotta join their church to get an A? I mean, isn't it their mandate to recruit people by force or otherwise?

Another club at SFSU is the Students for Genital Integrity. I remember watching a documentary about hermaphrodites whose doctors made the decision (surgically, that is) about which sex they ought to be. It seemed they were all pissed off regardless of what sex they were assigned. I wonder if this is what the club is about. The one that baffles me the most is the Upside Down Club. Is this like a Kriss Kross thing but rather than backwards they dress uh..? Finally there's the Players Club. For the drama students of course. I wonder if any not-so-bright self-professed stud muffins accidentally join that club hoping to share secrets of how to spike girls' drinks with G.

We just finished watching the extended version of LOTR Two Towers on DVD. OK, "watched" would be an overstatement for me. I sat still for the first two hours, played with hamsters for the third hour and surfed the web on my laptop in front of the TV for the fourth. I have to say I appreciate the beautiful landscapes, amazing costumes and mind-blowing special effects...but these fantasy movie plots just don't keep my attention.

I mean, I can sum up what I saw of it like this: group A has a magical object they must get rid of at some special place or the world will be over run by evil. Meanwhile, group B endures a parallel adventure trying to find group A. There is some sort of group C looking for someone or something, but I can't quite remember what. And, as in all fantasy stories, there are several evil groups of people that groups A and B must contend with. Of course, there is no definitive ending because you have to go see the third sequel which I'm sure is equally captivating.

My biggest question here is...why are the elves in this movie so tall? Simon explained patiently that only hobbits are little, while elves are tall and slender with pointy ears. "OH yeah?!" I responded, "Then why are the Keebler elves who make cookes in tree hollows so small?"

How come he laughed at me?

*sigh* now I feel bad because Simon put off seeing LOTR 3 so I could see it with him. How do I tell him that I would sooner re-write the math portion of my GMAT 5 times over or even watch a war movie (another Simon favourite) then sit through another (painfully boring) fantasy movie.

I don't know how I didn't discover this Engrish site earlier. Being a hamster lover, I particularly like this packaging:



Remember this is food packaging, for curry! What the hell is a hamster doing in your food?

Oh yah, new topic. So now that I'm off the job market and don't really need to censor myself (for fear a potential employer will read this). I can swear a whole lot on my blog now. Fuck, that's right.

OK just what the fvck does it mean when someone leaves a pile of dog shit on your welcome mat? I've never seen a dog run off leash here, and even if one did, having one shit right on my welcome mat would be like winning the freakin' lottery. Someone around here is asking for trouble and they're going to get it. If I do catch this guy and have evidence, can I press charges of some kind?

Has anyone been able to successfully connect to any IMs from Trillian? I downloaded the latest patch but I have a feeling those folks at Cerulean Studios can't keep up. So now I have yet another IM client, one that was supposed to integrate them all but instead connects to nothing.

I've been noticing that since about last year, TV stations have really loosened up with their rules regarding profanity on TV. All of a sudden, it's ok to say bitch and asshole on TV. Apparently parent's groups are trying to take issue with the FCC about this, particularly after U2 came up to receive an award and Bono said "fucking" as an adjective, ie fucking excellent, I believe he said. Since it was used as an adjective and did not have sexual meaning, it was deemed ok for air. I'm pretty liberal, or least like to think I am, but I find it a little nuts to be showing the South Park movie on cable TV, even at 11pm. Yes, it's one of my all time favourite movies (in the laughing 'til I piss myself category) but I wouldn't ever let a kid under my supervision watch it.

On a related note (ok not really related but I'd file it under "what is this world coming to"), what's up with kids calling grown ups by their first names now? I used to call all my neighbours mr. or mrs. so and so and all my parents friends were auntie or uncle something. It seems that white kids commonly call their step parents by their first name. Actually this brings up yet another issue, what is the right thing to call your bf/gf's parents? I would think auntie and uncle would be most appropriate. However, white folks quite commonly call even their in-laws by their first names. I dunno, I get weirded out even when my friends' parents ask me to call them by their first names.

I guess I owe it to all you guys to give an update on coming through on an F1 since everyone keeps asking. :-)
So it went like this. Got to the airport 2.5 hours early but noticed there weren't a whole lot of people at the airport in general. I guess most people were back at work already. So I got tied up at the Duty Free checking out the Hockey Night in Canada stuff. Got me a baby blue ball cap ($25 CAD) and Simon a matching shirt ($35 CAD), not bad since there's no tax. Anyways, they've restructured the part of the airport after the Duty Free store such that they have a barrier so that you can't see how long the line is for US customs and immigration. Stupid me. I get around that divider thing and notice that there is a winding line up, kinda like Disney World, OK not that long.

It scared me for a second there but the line moved fast. One of the agents must've just lost his virginity or something because he was chipper as a trailer trash with a McDonald's coupon. After every person he saw, he shouted "happy new year", "have a great vacation" or "have a wonderful trip". I could hardly believe my ears. Of course I didn't get that guy. But luckily I didn't get the angry old fart sitting next to him either. I got the quiet, bitter, overweight brown-haired guy with glasses. He didn't say hi or even look at me too long, but he was nice enough to let me fill out my I94 (the form you're supposed to magically know to pick up from security guy at the end of the line) at his counter.

I had all this back up shit prepared - my bank documents, stuff from my school, immunization records - the whole nine yards. But all he looked at was the I-20 form that the school had sent me. When I finished filling out the I-94 thingy, he sent me to the interview room line up. OK that scared me cuz that's where they grill people and I thought I was supposed to just get a stamp and go. I lined up there for a few minutes and met some chinese dude from Calgary who was married to an American and was pissed off that his wife wanted to move back to San Jose.

Just then, another younger agent sent me back to the overweight brown haired dude who looked a little confused. I guess he was supposed to stamp some shit and didnt realize that. Got my stamps and the young guy escorted me to the interview room again. No questions or anything, he just needed to get on that computer and enter some data. As I waited for him to do that, I watched the other agents talk excitedly about this bogus passport they got from this Chinese woman. "Look you can even see the glue here", one bragged. "Yeah, you gotta bounce her", ordered another one.

As I left the room with my shiny new F1 stamp, I think I saw who they were refering to. There was a young fobby Chinese couple with a baby. An agent told them to exit the area the way they came in and contact some official before they tried to enter the country again. I don't know what their story is but I felt bad for them nonetheless.

I can't believe tomorrow is the day I head through the border as a grad student. Getting that TN before and going through with a work visa has conditioned me to fear and loathe those INS agents. I have all my shit in order - got my official acceptance, a bank statement, my doctor's note saying I got my shots, list of courses I'm registered for and everything. But it still freaks me out. The power that those lowly minimally-educated modestly-paid agents wield is unbelievable. Unfortunately, in Vancouver, the power *trip* that they're on is even more unbelievable. Just gotta hope for good weather and a pleasant agent to talk to. I just wanna get out of this snow and get on with my life!